|Reviews for a beautiful girl that reminds me of love poetry|
| RawrEllieMayMightBeADinosaur chapter 1 . 6/20/2009
This is unlike any poem I've read. Very captivating. You almost made me feel sorrier for the girl than for the narrator. You made her seem beautiful, in a not-so-conventional way, & I liked it. You really drew me in.
In this part:
"and she kept laughing at how her true colors could come out on
Halloween, she said this with her ass showing from the hem of her
slutty red riding hood skirt and her boyfriend spreading kisses
across her seemingly small but mostly just beautiful cleavage
and she says, "i'm a slut, cool." and she walks by the headlights
and takes the honks in stride"
Is this all one sentence? I think it could be condensed a little, add a few periods, some commas. Needs more punctuation, but mainly just right there. It would really flow much more smoothly. Nice work.
-Rawr, from the Review Marathon. (The link's in my profile.)
| persephone in waiting chapter 1 . 6/17/2008
Interesting and still captivating. This is a poem like no other - as most of your poems are. I almost feel more sorry for the girl being referred to than the speaker of the poem.
| fairytale failure chapter 1 . 11/11/2007
I love how this was totally not what I was expecting in 'a girl that reminds me of love poetry.' She is beautiful but in a way that says 'I'm a slut, cool.' (I loved that part!) Also, the last line was pretty hot. In my opinion the first half was not nearly as good as the second, almost like a warm-up as you got into your style.
| Tytherpol chapter 1 . 11/4/2007
you really did a good job at making her sound beautiful
in one of those ways that you totally don't expect.
"and she walks by the headlights/and takes the honks in stride"
i love where you put that. i love all of the imagery, actually.
| SocratesAngel chapter 1 . 11/1/2007
very unique and blunt in a very good way. seems optimistic but pessimistic at the same time. love it.
| this is britt chapter 1 . 11/1/2007
love the anecdotal feel (well the fact that it is an anecdote.) beautiful in its honesty and then the last statement is heartbreaking. very unique, too.