|Reviews for If You Are Alone|
| Ioga chapter 3 . 11/16/2010
Well, this was something quite different from what I've seen from you so far! The brief summary hadn't really set any clear expectations either. This actually makes me wonder again about how there is this category for 'poetry' in Fictionpress but so far I haven't seen a single poem tagged with it. Is it a new option or something, do you know?
While I'm bad at reading poetry that falls between structured rhyming and not rhyming at all, I liked some of the mental images on this one. "Face hits the concrete I know you didn't see" had me parsing it for a while, but generates all the more interesting imagery. I also liked both the created image and the general "sound" of "Slay your dragons with your silver sword". "All the colors blur into gray" also seems to capture depression quite vividly, even though my first association was actually how there no longer is black and white, only shades of gray - which wouldn't be such a bad development for many people. X-)
Minor nitpick: End of chapter 2 has a "your alone now" - you're.
Thanks for this!
| DancingInRain chapter 2 . 11/14/2007
I'm a little confused about what the story is about. I suffer extreme slowness so I'm sorry. I like how the poem is written though. I kept imaging a person trying to talk to a shadow when I read the two chapters lol. Continue writing though :] I'd like to see what happens.