Reviews for the beginning
Realilly chapter 1 . 11/8/2007
K, I really don't like the whole "email/screen name" thing. That just totally ruins the poetic feel, which kind of destroys the point of a poem. The whole thing just seems like a cliche, and once again there's not consistent punctuation or capitalization.
A Scarlet Raven chapter 1 . 11/7/2007
i love this.

i know how this feels as well.

i've been down that road far too many times
whatsmynameagain chapter 1 . 11/7/2007
thank you for the tips and the review it is realy helpful

it is so true though this poem

The line "Your screen name reads offline" is somthing most people can relate to becuaseit does reflect what alot of realtionships are and how we base how good and how bad they are going at any time.

i love it keep on writing
shadow-of-a-trackless-sea chapter 1 . 11/6/2007
aw, this is so sad. But hun you have to understand, sometimes people aren't amd at you they just have pressing things going on in their life. So whether or not they try to or not they end up "ignoring" those around them because they are preoccupied, so hun just give it some time and. But I have to disagree with the reviewier before me. I don't think that it's that good of a piece becuase you always set the bar so high, so for me this one just seemed to fall a little flat.
poetic abortion chapter 1 . 11/6/2007
OHMYGOD,YES!

...Okay, okay, I'm calm now.

...Not really but, whatever, this is amazing enough for me to blow a brain cell or two just THINKING OF WAYS TO DECRIBE THE MAGNATUDE OF IT'S AWESOMENESS.

Ahemn, I mean, how much I ADORE THIS.

First of all, the structure. It's fantastic and simple and WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? Really, for a poetry-whore who ABSOLUTELY LOVES STYLE this really get me. Your word use, your own way of making things more emotional; how you TELL the situation, alone, makes a little part of me wibble and preen in the corner.

Secondly, this is by far on of the better pieces I've read on this site today. The ending parahraph-helo!-is beyond words. It's such a sad, brilliant transition from one end of the spectrum to the other that you miss it and this poem really, perfectly describes it.

And the ending line? Oh, never have those words been even so fittingly been done in a poem before.

[ author alert]

- Noelle
xDancingintheRainx chapter 1 . 11/6/2007
The emotion in this piece is so strong. You've done a great job of expressing yourself. Well done. Thanks for the review. )