|Reviews for broken is beautiful|
| aloxi chapter 1 . 12/26/2007
wow. that was so incredible. i wish i could write a terribly long review about the in-depth meaning of this, and words unsaid, but all i tend to do when i read a good poem is absorb the words and not analyze them ;)rest assured, i adored this. i think you did a great job with the imagery, and choice of words. it all flows beautifully.
| HerointheShadows chapter 1 . 11/29/2007
This piece was okay, I wouldn't say it's the best work I've ever read, but I can tell you, it needs some work.
Where are your capitals? 'incinerated' should be capitalized, and there should be comas after 'furnace', 'mind', and 'engraved' from the first stanza. When you read a poem, it's supposed to be read as a sentence. To stop and breath and every coma and period.
'ashes, ashes we all fall down,' should be in quotations. That was taken from a song so it should be given that credit.
What was with the parenthesis? They added nothing to your poem.
'blackened streaks' would have been much stronger if it was given it's own line. 'tears transparent to opaque,' your missing something to tie it together. You need something between 'tears' and 'transparent.' Maybe 'run' or something similar.
In you second to last stanza, there is no need to add the words in parenthesis. If you had used the set up from the previous stanzas, the readers should understand it was meant as 'sin,' 'purity' and 'sacrifice.'
b/r/o/k/e/n, should have been done like this: B.R.O.K.E.N.
All caps bring emphasis as do the periods.
I like the idea of where this poem was heading, but you need to touch up a lot of the seams. This poem has potential. Work on your grammar. Read the poem out loud, listen to the way it sounds.
I find little imagry in this, add something for the mind to see.
Also work on your last stanza. It makes absolutly no sense to the rest of the paragraph. You didn't lead up to it. It contradicts your statement 'b/r/o/k/e/n/ is beautiful.'
| Through Glass Eyes chapter 1 . 11/28/2007
Wonderful poem. It's not running through fields of flowers or floating on a cloud type thing but its wonderful. It really sets a mood.
| wrapped-in-porcelain chapter 1 . 11/23/2007
this was an amazing write.
the ending really did it for me.
great job with this.
| GregoryHoare chapter 1 . 11/23/2007
Beautifully written, clever and a dash of great imagary.. what more can you ask for?
| catalyst.enigma chapter 1 . 11/22/2007
The imagery and details are amazing.
| Completely Baffled chapter 1 . 11/16/2007
That's interesting. I really enjoyed your figurative language; it was original.
| mizu no kokoro chapter 1 . 11/15/2007
i love the whole atmosphere and mood the images create. the hint of sadness... is not lost.
| Slightly Bruised And Broken chapter 1 . 11/15/2007
i like this a lot very strong :) used the word incinerate a lot. i liked it has a lot of interpretations sorry can't spell
| Kneeling Glory chapter 1 . 11/15/2007
I like the reality of this piece. Its not all sunshine and lollipops, and there's definitely no happy ending, but it still leaves me with a sense of...hope I guess. "b/r/o/k/e/n/ is beautiful"
Truer words, eh?
| lymli chapter 1 . 11/15/2007
that's raw, like a raw feeling/love
but I imagine the scene from this and it's nice.
| shadow-of-a-trackless-sea chapter 1 . 11/13/2007
I really like this one too, very desriptive and sullen but i really like it, nice job yet again!
| creepy kiss on tuesday chapter 1 . 11/11/2007
i love the last two lines. very pretty :)
| Sophia Feros chapter 1 . 11/10/2007
1...2...3... I counted 3 vocabulary words Crystal. That was great. You really are talented at writing. I don't say such a thing without reason. By the way, I put up a new story, and deleted my other ones.
| Random-Idiocity chapter 1 . 11/10/2007
good poem .. I liked the first stanza very much, Keep it Up!