:(

oh dear.

I'm totally hooked, by the way. I know you asked for good, rounded reviews and stuff and I'm sorry I'm not a very good reviewer, but this is a good story.

love how caia doesn't point out how his countrymen separated her from her family. thats such a girl thing to do... hah.

anyway.

your shorter chapters are a bit artistic in feel. this is like somewhere in between that and the more plot driven longer ones, in my opinion. I enjoy the varying lengths.

she's quite the witch, isn't she? interesting.

the BG sounds lovely! and now I see more of the plot coming together, including info about scattering. well done with not info dumping all at once. I like the slow reveals.

personally felt the reveal at the end could have been more subtle, though I do like the way it's worded. I understand that perhaps you cant do this with a series of vignettes, but I would have liked to have more show (vs tell) of how min thinks that the princesses mastery of the light is supercool.

I dont know if that makes sense though. DISREGARD.

I love how Min saves the day. the relationship between min and the princess, by the way, is really well done.

I wonder where she is! poor girl.

interesting. I like the way you describe her power over the light.

and as suspected, Zeras has a little crush. or a full blown one. I wonder how he will deal with his sister ordering him to do away with her.

hm.

When she says that he is not like his sister, does she mean that in a good way? or in a neutral, "just-an-observation" sort of way?

they are adorable. I hope he stops being all emo just because his family died, and they can go back to happy sunshine days.

okay, I'm kinda kidding, but still. very cute.

this:

(Smug, very smug. She smiled. “Ah, she has. I am getting better and my progress will only continue to improve from today. I am certain of it.” Involuntarily, her body drew up at the spoken surge of confidence, her bearing determined and regal. She was definitely royalty – and from the quirk of eyebrow she was getting from the young artist, she knew he knew it as well. “I certainly hope so. You looked awful out there.”)

make sure that you start a new paragraph when someone new starts talking? I think you didnt do that here. I think.

I enjoyed this one, but I'm not sure what she's referring to when she says "it was beautiful". I assume you are being vague on purpose, or I am very daft. one or the other. but anyway, interesting.

so far, these are all working pretty well together, and I really like the way they all fit like a puzzle. very cool way to tell a story!

I hope I'm not repeating myself. I know I've said that before.

This one has some ... punchy sentences, if that makes sense. I mean it in a good way. Love the first line, and then the explanation along with it.

interesting also are the references to light.

short, but good.

I love this one, it's very beautiful. sort of has a drifty feel to it, but ends on a dark note. she's the missing sister, yes? haha, see, I skimmed that page better than I had assumed!

love the first few sentences. it really has mood.

yay, I was hoping to read a vignette from delora's perspective!

[Delora likes to think she’s one of the few who has gotten a perfect handle on it. Rule with a firm hand but loose it just enough to let people think they’ve still got a say.]

interesting. is she as balanced as she thinks, though?

people used to underestimate her ("whimsical little blond") which makes her character even more interesting.

I love the ending and how you show why she wants Caia gone. It rings very true.

good piece!

I think I remember this character from your author note. interesting. its a little short, but it works.