This is the dumbest thing I've ever read. A man in Egypt tried to buy her for 40 camels? That'd be like if a tourist came here and said somebody tried to buy them for 40 big macs. The repetition of this camel thing in general is annoying. OK we get it you're talking about Egypt. There aren't just camels roaming the highway btw they're only in the touristy areas dumb white people like you go to.

-A seriously offended Arab

This story has honestly been one of my top favorites despite all the time that has passed. Although I found this story many years ago, I still find myself returning to your profile every so often just to reread it, and I still love every chapter and character! I sincerely appreciate that you uploaded a concluding chapter, which really provided some closure for me. I hope that you don't listen to the haters or those people telling you to remove the story (seeing that it's unfinished) because I still think that people can come enjoy it as it is. Thanks for a great read, and I wish you luck in your future endeavors! :)

I appreciate your little an at the end where you explained the whole story but please put abandoned in the summary so that people who actually want to read don't get their hopes up. It is pretty hypocritical of you to call other people rude when you leave such a note, it is frustration to read 17 chapters only to realize that the story is not even complete. so for future reference keep that in mind sugar

Not to be bitchy but, if you had no plans to ever finish this story, then why haven't you removed it from FP altogether. You have no idea how many times I, and others, have been disappointed to start a story, only to have it fall by the roadside in a slowly dying heap! It's such a serious letdown! It's also like a 'very' hard slap to the face!

Daydrmr

Aw man what a rip off! I spent all night reading the last few chapters just to find out what Haruga's secret was, who was trying to kill Jackie, etc. Just to find out this isn't actually complete . At least mark this as incomplete or put something in the summary about how the story just stops after 17 chapters to avoid wasting people's time the way mine has been.

Homg. So getting the email that you had updated gave me life. I have been following this story since you put it up all those years ago and now it's so sad to see it end, but I understand. I'm so happy that I got to read this amazing story and I thank you for that. I also thank you for giving us an ending for all of them instead of just leaving it how it was. I will always love Jackie and Alphonso and they will always have a special place in my heart for being some of my favorite characters. 3 Good luck in all that you do.

Please come back and finish the story! I am so in love with this story and the characters. I just finished reading the 17 chapters in two days and I'm dying to read more! I ao in love with this story and the characters.

I am sooooo in love with this story and the characters. Where have you gone to? Please come back I miss this story so much. It's been so long, so many years have passed. Please come back and finish this story.

There are tears from laughter running down my face from reading this. I hope to read more about grandma in the later chapters

Tehehe I love it so far. Jacqueline is hilarious.

Great beginning :)

Hi, my name is celticgirl, and I'm here to critic your story! Okay first, I like your writing. I usually don't like 1st person stories, but this works. Second, you said in your summery that it was a R&J story. I'll admit, I was exicited like I usually am when I find the story type I was looking for, but in the middle of the story, all the tension that made the star-crossed lovers happen was gone. The friends gave the protaginst they're blessing and the step-brother/possible lover backed off. I really felt that you were trying to go too much into the how Alphonso is the next in line to rule his mafia, and how the protagonist is in danger of assassination, and all the action that really isn't needed if you want to make a R&J type of story. And lastly, why so many Italian names? They all sound so similar that I can't tell them apart! I get that they are Itailian, but do they live in Italy? Is it nessisary to to have these long confusing names just to make them sound Italian? Just saying that they have roots in Italy is enough!

Anyway, that was my little critic of your story, hope I gave you something useful out of this!

-Celtic

When are you next gonna update? I'm enjoying this :)

Was Alphonso speaking Italian? What was he saying?

Wow. You introduced too many people in that one chapter there. I mixed up. I still have trouble differentiating between Luca & Dante you know?

Seems like you've had a tragic week. Yet you wrote the chapter. Thanks for your dedication.