Reviews for Bees
TaltushMeiMei chapter 1 . 11/27/2007
For a rhyming poem with very little solid emotion, I'm quite impressed. The rhymes are very straight-forward and all feel perfectly natural, not like you worked hard to come up with them. There is a solid, consistent flow throughout the poem, making it easy to read aloud. While there is little human personalization to the poem, there are some interesting descriptions, words, and feelings aside from the typical. A surprising find, for sure. Nice job taking something that would otherwise be weak and turning it into a well written poem.
Ryan Schiff chapter 1 . 11/27/2007
Not bad. The rhyming in very direct, but it works for the simplicity of the poem. I would try to pay close attention to the meter, as some lines feel kind of chunky (keep everything to an even number of sylables, you start with 12 so you might want to try staying with that convention).