Very nice beginning, you put a new spin on the whole kidnapping thing. Although did her dad really have to reserve do kidnapping her? HE must think she hates him pretty badly... update soon!

The opening certainly has everything it needs to draw someone in. Beginning in the middle of strong emotions usually draws the curiousity of the reader as to why someone is feeling these things, and why they should care. It captures that struggle a lot of people feel when they let themselves become a slave for gratification from a parental figure or otherwise loved on - and that breaking point. Well worded and well expressed.

was he not allowed to see her, cuz he told her mom that he wouldn't

YAy! The chapter was longer! I was so anxious in this chapter just anticipating when she was going to get kidnapped. I feel a bit bad for her that her father did not show up for graduation, she was almost all alone. SHe should have trusted ange. Is he taking her towards her father? Where is her father exactcly? Update Soon! PLEASE!

A polite kidnapper, how refreshing.

why cant her dad be normal and go and talk to her himself or something.

anyway i love it cant wait for the next chapter

so her dad wants her back

wow! 31 reviews! Kudos for you! Why did she leave her dad? How old is she? I can't wait untill you update! I really like it!

I don't quite see where this is going yet, but the summary sounded interesting so keep it up.

update soon

update soon

What happened to the other chapters? D; Will you be re-writing the story?

Another good chapter. I really liked how you wrote how her father is so controling. It doesn't make sense right now but I am sure that that will all come to terms soon.

Keep up the good work!

Still suggesting the use of a Beta.

~Dark Angel

I really like the conflict that you have between Olivia and her father and then the other conflict between Olivia and rain. It is interesting to see how Olivia struggles with herself as well. This is where you have done a fantastic job with the chapter.

However, on a different note I would seriously suggest that you look into getting a Beta. There are so many errors throughout this work that during some points it becomes hard to read. It's simple, you send this person the chapters before you post them, they go through to give you suggestions and correct any problems with grammar etc. that there may be. I am more than willing to do that if you would like, just message me, or e-mail me!

Keep up the good work I can't wait to read more!

~Dark Angel

omg luv it update soon