|Reviews for Bloodfest|
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 10 . 2/20/2008
LOL Bristol x Scarla here? XD Anyway, good fighting scenes again as always. You really did a lot of attention to the details in your fighting scenes, huh? Unlike that of mine, which focus more on effects. Guess I really have to crack my brain hard for my future fighting scenes... :S And yeah, the final scene of Taras was super funny although the humor can be termed more on the sexual side... anyway, glad to see you update again. What took you so long btw? And yeah, because I feel like it, Bristol could be an existing word. My guess is that it could be a name of a town/city in England. Ever heard of the football teams Bristol City and Bristol Rovers. The former is really a revelation in the Championship tier from what I've heard, gunning for promotion to be exact...
| Shang chapter 2 . 2/10/2008
Finally got a bit more time to read some more of this. I must say that in a strange way it reminds me of "Ragnarok" manhwa (and I'm not talking just about the setting).
I see you again bring out the females XD, well I don't mind that really. Anyway, aout the chapter itself: it was pretty good, though I still believe Bris and Scarla were kinda too quick to decide and help Hrist out, since they don't really know her. Aside from that the story seems to be progressing at a good speed (seems to me you'll be making your heroes fight one of the 'main bad guys' early on, just like I made Barrick in "Final Magic" XD)... wonder how that'll turn out.
I'll try to read more soon, but I still have one exam (kinda) on Tuesday, so my reading might be held until then.
Anyways: nice job.
| Nameless Shadow chapter 1 . 1/15/2008
Lord of Darkness, Kaure:
Hm. Nice beginning. Quite interesting, indeed. Overall, this was well-written, although there were a few things I saw - some of your sentances seem a little oddly worded, though that might just be me. The more obvious one was this - 'Its snouts were had saliva drooling down,' - I think 'were' can be omitted, honestly. Doesn't seem exactly right...perhaps a mistake?
Fallen God of War, Hermatis:
No matter, really. The descriptions were really good - overall an awesome job, man! XD Things seem to be moving a little fast, but again that might be personal preference on Master's part...all in all, the story rocks so far. I'll definately be sure to keep reading. ;)
| Sentance Winder chapter 2 . 1/15/2008
Story is still going good and is progressing well. However some parts in this chapter annoyed me a little.
"Grey eyes" i found that used alot to often i suggest changing it in some places.
Some areas in this chapter just didnt sound right to me when i read them in my mind i suggest editing some of it.
Anyway im actually liking this and will definitely continue reading on.
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 9 . 1/13/2008
Well, glad to see this being updated again... anyway, interesting developments here especially Maverick's character change here. Wonder when you'll start working on the individual characters' past. That can be interesting and pivotal to the whole story. And glad to know that you've placed certain hints of Aesir's agenda with possibly his humanity as well... just interested to know what agenda Felix is having now in this story. He seems like a enigma just like Maverick. And it also seems that Maverick is not the kind of bravado guy in front of others where Taras is concerned. Interesting to see what kind of feud has erupted before between those two... all in all, nothing to complain here except maybe my desire to see more of the characters' developments soon. :)
| Sentance Winder chapter 1 . 1/12/2008
Thanks for the review really helped me out.
Anyway i love the instant action of the first chapter has really caught my attention. I'll review again in another 3 days or so.
One thing i found a little awkward though was the instant meeting and how they instantly decide to travel together. One thing you have excelled and became king of is the battle descriptions. They are rated in my opinion A.
So over all i enjoyed this little piece, adding it to favourites.
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 8 . 1/11/2008
Well, a good chapter here as always. Good fighting scenes as well here. And Taras is so funny here. Never imagine you will make that move in this story. For some funny reason unknown to me however, Taras sort of reminds me of Tessa in the Academy fic of yours. And yeah, a new companion as well. Just a word or two on the CCs though. Basically, I don't have any issues with you adding characters in your fic. Just a note here is that for the vital characters, you should try to do certain developments for them in the near future so as to let the readers feel for them. Honestly speaking, the only character I've seen here who has a decent development is Victoria. The rest just seems to be rooted at the same spot especially Hrist whom I assume to be the main character. Hopefully, I can see developments on your other characters soon since given the current length of this story, I feel that it's the right time to do it within the next two or three chapters at the most. Unless of course you intend this story to be a slow burner like what I'm doing with my stories right now. If so, you're forgiven lol! XD And one more thing as well. That is, try to humanise Aesir. Don't try to make him into a one dimensional villain. There's always a reason for everything unless you're talking about God's existence. What I'm trying to say is that try to portray what Aesir had gone through all the while to warrant the villain tag. I'm not ordering you to do it immediately though. Just try to do this on your own timing. Apart from that, nothing much to say. And yeah, I maybe updating Elven Chronicles next... not too sure though. But I hope to have it up by next week. How my laziness will be ordering me to do the opposite is a big obstacle though... :(
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 7 . 1/10/2008
Well, good chapter as always here. Fighting scenes are so well detailed as always. For some reason, the fighting scenes reminds me of the whole Soul Calibur series. Anyway, interesting to see that Victoria and Felix are having some form of chemistry. Interested to see where you will carry this. Just one thing that I can suggest here is that whenever you wanted to do character developments, don't start it abruptly like what you did for Victoria. She's got a change in character after fighting Hrist and co, but what really happened in her mind that caused such a change? If I remember the fight correctly, nothing in terms of psychology came in at that time. You may say it's better to portray the source of change later. I don't know, but if that's the case, then I'll have to disagree because IMO, to start a good character development, you'll have to let the reader to at least have a certain idea of the source in a logical manner. Apart from that, nothing to complain here. My note on Maverick here is that he seems like a total wild card here. I really wondered about his agenda from the very moment he first appeared since it seems he has a kick out of creating random trouble. I'll be interested to see what you can do for that. Apart from that, nothing to comment here. Hope to see you update soon btw. Bye! :)
| Shang chapter 1 . 1/8/2008
Well, I've managed to dig out enough time to read the first chapter (but if I fail tomorrow's exam, I'll know who to blame XD). It starts off nicely, though quite brutal (I guess after Battalions I should get used to that, but...).
I like the fact that you didn't make your heroes too powerful, hopefully they'll get stronger or show that's not the top of their abilities, coz I'm expecting stronger enemies in a near future.
Overall it seems promising and I'll try to read more once I'll get more free time. Good job.
On a side note I've spotted a grammar mistake (yeah, I guess I shouldn't be the one to talk in this case, but...) you might wanna fix: "it was his last one he had with him" - I believe that it should be something like 'it was the last he had'
Also, there's a scene which I think you should change:
(...)she had a minor complex when it came to thanking people. Every so often, she would find it very hard to show gratitude to anyone.
“It’s just that… I’m not used to thanking people; a small complex of mine,” the female brunette replied (...)
Basically you wrote the same statement twice, one after another. I think that's an unnecesarry repetition. I would just skip the first part and have Hrist just say that she's not used to thanking people. The result will be the same.
Well, that's it, for now. But in the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger: "I'll be back" XD Keep up the good work.
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 6 . 1/6/2008
Ok, good chapter here. The fight scenes as always is well detailed. The whole Taras-Ruse issue was a major shocker though. Interesting to see what will come out of the whole thing. And yeah, the last part is also very intriguing as well. Wonder how the whole plot will turn out... sorry if this review's short though. I'm a bit occupied in the brain now and I don't know what to say further for now. Anyway, glad to see that you've updated. Till next time, bye! :)
| Nanao Nagase chapter 3 . 1/5/2008
This is a good story- I especially enjoyed the action. I've always liked stories with lots of bloody fighting and suspense, and Bloodfest is a good mix of both. Your fight scenes are great- easy to visualise and exciting.
The women in here- Scarla especially, remind me of Claymore... very powerful and merciless in their fighting. Was that where you got the inspiration from?
I'll continue reading this when I can. Great job.
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 5 . 12/18/2007
Well, glad to see that you've updated. :) Anyway, good chapter here. I suspect the so-called killer here is Taras. For some funny reason, Taras reminds me of a SM opposite freak compared to Victoria. Don't know about that. Guess it's just me anyway... Well, for CCs, I can't really think of one for now. Anyway, I'm starting to write a new story now. Hope to have it updated soon and see your review for it as well! Bye! :)
| Melissa Norvell chapter 4 . 12/9/2007
Definitely an interesting chapter. I can see your influences here. You also wrote a longer chapter here too. Most of my stories to have events planner per chapter. I do that so I don't get side tracked. I'm always making storylines and such for stuff I post here.
| Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu chapter 4 . 12/9/2007
Well, guess things are heating up right now... for some reason, Victoria reminds me of some random SM dominatrix... XP Anyway, good chapter here. The beginning was pretty much of a filler, but the end did do something about the plot plus the kick ass fighting scenes as well here. I really wonder what Aesir is trying to do in Lancerrot. Hell, I think that could even be a trap... anyway, hope that you've received my email pic of Azuren. Maybe you can do some comments on it? ;) And yeah, as I've said in my P.S, I did notice the arm and scimitar curve lol! XD
| Melissa Norvell chapter 3 . 12/6/2007
I'm glad that I finally got around to reading this. Sorry for not doing so earlier, I was in the middle of typing out and posting the next chapter for Synthetic Emotions.
I like your style in this piece. It reminds me a lot of my newer works like Sacrifice and Synthetic Emotions. I hate to sound...What's the word...Superficial or self-absorbed, but did you find my stories an inspiration of sorts?
I really enjoyed this story so far. I can't wait for an update!