Very well written.

Love the parentheses in this poem, they fit nicely.

Nice flow; good idea.

Loved it.

you are amazing. this is absolutely brilliant. words can't describe it. purebeauty, almost haunting in its perfection. the language, the format (parenthesis - not overdone, which i tend to do, unfortunately, but perfectly placed and add so much to the meaning), gorgeous imagery, flawless wording, beautifully, beautifully written. i love you(r writing). this is incredible. never stop writing, ever. it's beauty and art like this that reminds me there's still hope for the future if we use our words to set this fallen world free. God bless you.

in the peace and love of Christ,

alison xx

Loved it. Although i am a little mad now cause I was debating writing a poem about the moon since I just wrote about the sun, ha gwe realy do think alike! But I thought that this was beautiful

wow, strong poem. very, very good. Definitely a fav.

Faith

The parenthesis greatly distract me from what you're trying to get across, and the constant repetition of it in the same LINE is too much.

Also, I'm having trouble understanding the point of putting parenthesis around words like 'doing' and 'winter.' It doesn't add any more power to the poem than it would without the parenthesis.

Perhaps experiment poems without parenthesis and you may receive clearer results.

Typo: 3rd stanza, 2nd line, "it's" should be "its"

Finally, I believe the last stanza is too redundant. You've already mentioned the 'empty hanging' of the 'others' in the previous stanzas, so the poem is still left without a closer, in my opinion.

Hope I wasn't too harsh, just trying to give some constructive help.

WB

love