|Reviews for hairbrushes can't fix it|
| xforgetseptember chapter 1 . 12/8/2007
"and it’s in times like this where I just wish
my hairbrush could disentangle knots in my stomach
as well as it does for my hair."
thats my favorite part of this poem. i wish i could write as good as you and be that creative. haha. but i love this one the most.
| Blissfully Sarcastic chapter 1 . 12/8/2007
It was a good read.
I can't say I'm too enthusiastic about the parentheses though.
But it was a pretty good poem.
(That should be /than/, by the way.)
Great job; I liked the overall idea here.
| TeapotLid chapter 1 . 12/8/2007
the idea here is charming in a kind of sad way, you use some great descriptions and the parentheses are interesting; in a couple of places like (like) and (pressure) I'm a little unsure of how they work but it sounds great and works well in the last line. "clock" is cool :)
sorry for the late reply review... and thank you, you have a way with words yourself _
| Kneeling Glory chapter 1 . 12/5/2007
Interesting idea, but I think the words in parenthesis detracts from what could be a truly beautiful piece. Particularly in this staza:
"and it's in times like this where I just wish/ that my hairbrush could disentangle the (knots) in my stomach/ as well as it does with my hair."
I don't really see any need to have knots in parentheses. Also, that stanza is a little wordy. Maybe condense it to something like:
"And it's times like this that I wish/ my hairbrush could disentangle knots in my stomach/ as well as it does in hair."
However, I really really like the last line just the way it is. It almost (but not quite) contradicts the rest of the poem - which makes you stop to think about it.
Good job :)
| incandescence chapter 1 . 12/1/2007
"and the clock is only waiting for my secrets
thats my favorite line. such an out there idea, that seems so normal when you ponder it.
| shadow-of-a-trackless-sea chapter 1 . 12/1/2007
Ha, I liked this one too. Very odd comparison but totally original. Nice job.
| Faith Adeline chapter 1 . 12/1/2007
I like this, it's very true. Keep it up.
| creepy kiss on tuesday chapter 1 . 12/1/2007
i like this too. i am in a life-contemplating mood :)