|Reviews for Of Clockwork and Wax|
| uniqueindividual chapter 1 . 12/28/2008
It is a kind of a slow start..there is too much description for me.
| Nesasio chapter 1 . 1/2/2008
Alright, now I haven't finished this (it's getting late and at least if I review this I'll make a note to myself to come back tomorrow and finish) but I think it has potential. You seem to have a clear idea what you are trying to show and the characters have some dimension (keep in mind I've only read the first chapter).
My one problem with this is that you should really get someone to read through before you post, someone who's experienced with editing. Some of the sentences contain multiple statements of the same thing, for example "The man's cloak fell around over...", that make the reader go '...huh?'. There're the usual typos, too, like punctuation (I fixed the above section because it originally read "mans'") but I didn't notice spelling typos. Some of the words didn't seem to fit, like your description of "echoing into the bellows and ribbing in the bowels". I don't know what you mean by 'ribbing' and I don't imagine many other people would either.
Aside from these things, though, you've got a good descriptive base to work with and with some simple proofreading I think you could really have something here. Keep doing what you're doing (aside from the above things :)) and good job so far!