Reviews for Innocent No More
Thoughtful Silence chapter 1 . 4/10/2008
Whoa, I really liked this. 'Heartbreak is the only love/ you've been shown' I loved that line and I thought the last line was pretty much heartbreaking. There are a few grammatical errors but that doesn't really matter IMO. Anyways, keep up the good work!

-Thoughtful
A.J Scarlet chapter 1 . 12/4/2007
Whoa nice, you're getting deeper and deeper everytime I read your poems. WHY CAN'T I WRITE DOWN THOSE MOMENTS! Maybe becuase I don't write them down when they come. Nice work, now I'm really impatient and just want to post my story as it is...but I can't because it won't have much depth. I'm so going to work on it right now. YAY YOU INSPIRE ME! (I'm hyped up on ice tea right now hehe)
half-sketched.staccatos chapter 1 . 12/2/2007
konban wa

"Heartache is the only love / You've been shown / Pain has been all you've known"

I liked this a lot, just because it seemed to be almost an oxymoron in a way. "Heartache" is most definitely not what I think of when I think of what I want in love.

This poem is absolutely beautiful. I think it helped immensely that I was listening to music at the same time - something composed by Bach. It wasn't sad per se... just sort of solemn.

w. music-scores ?morebagoar&composerBach&titleGoldberg%20Variations:%20Aria

Listen to it if you have time. It sort of helped to set the mood, you know?

"Another arrow, straight through your heart"

There were a couple of typos you might want to fix: "innonce" instead of "innocence," "Help has never came" should be "has never come," etc. Minor details like that.

"Of a little girl/Innocent no more" - my favorite line of the poem. It sounded so final an d almost heartbreaking. Poor, broken little girl. :(

Beautiful piece.

Zaijen

-Shan-
Alpha de la Omega chapter 1 . 12/2/2007
:( So sad. You can feel her angst.