I have read very little military sci-fi (the only one that stands out in my memory is Ender's Game) but this was a very engaging read. I honestly couldn't stop until I was done. The only the thing I can think of that irratated be was refering of female officers as 'sir' the proper way to address then us "ma'am". But than again, this is a new world you created.

-Curtis

Very good, well written. Couldn't find any spelling errors and nothing made my eyes bleed.

On another note, it did bring back a few memories of boot camp. Which made me smile, when going through boot camp I thought I was gonna be killed by my Drill Instructors. Looking back though, the funniest shit happened there.

Curtis

I give it 7 Turduckens out of 10 and a half. No glaring grammatical errors, good bit of diversity, and overall not to bad. Could have used a car chase though...

Kdh.

Nice. The only criticisms I can think of is that some parts are a bit awkward to read from some conjugation errors. Otherwise, I really like it. Good narrative, deep plot, and an obviously well thought out setting. Can't wait for more.

So some interesting developments here. The conspiracy grows, and there's a good bit of suspence. Keep up the good work!

Michael and the theurgic rifles are definitely awesome. Snipers are superstitious enough, so all the more reason to pray for making that shot. One comment: "The overwhelming attacks rarely survivors, and in the case of the Grenadiers, rarely left buildings either." Should be 'left' there.

The way the chapter ended was definitely bad ass. Hope to see more!

The revised version is much easier to follow. I'm very much enjoying the flow and the factions introduced so far. Keeping track of them is a lot easier now.

Michael's own abilities have been cleared up a bit, though a question. Is the degree system they use is metric/Celsius (or at least some analog)? 20 degrees being room temp would be rather cold, after all.

A cool scene with Michael here. The writing and characterization's definitely improved a lot.

Hell of a way to start the revision! I'll be following this closely.

Well, fanatics may be idiots but they do have their uses as suicide bombers. Well written chapter, no glaring errors, and well put together. A blood alchemist sounds interesting. Kdh.

Very interesting story. Intriguing concepts and ideas as well. I look forward to more.

Hell of a chapter update. We see some foreign powers at work here. So far, most of the fighting's been small scale engagements in Tyrre, but looks like that will change soon. Does the CF/Archomachy -verse have some sort of biothaumaturgical resurrection (aside from turning corpses into necromorphs)?

Wow, this is pretty awesome. Are you in the military, cause I grew up around them and you seem more in tune with it than me. I like the "steampunk" thing with the unions and such. I like the military hostility towards civillians, and how the drill sarge is a jerk but (like in real life) it tends to be an act. This is awesome, I'll be sure to read more.

So the Hands finally got an ass kicking. Do the Rangers or any other military branches then the Templars use metal augmentation like that? Do they have a sort of biotransmutation thaumaturgy to integrate implants like that?