|Reviews for Outbreak v 4|
| Kildiazar the Unwanted Ghost chapter 7 . 12/13/2007
Sorry for the delayed response. For some reason fictionpress wasn't accepting any reviews. Everytime I clicked the submit button it was always "page error, url not valid". After the 3rd try, I kinda gave up.
Anyway, these last 2 chaps seem too short compared to your past chapters. This is all just dialogue, barely any descriptions here. I think it would be better if you described more the surroundings, the emotions of the characters, the "feel" ofthe scene if you will. It will help build up the atmospherefor the story coz for now, it kinda looks rushed. Pace yourself!
| Kildiazar the Unwanted Ghost chapter 5 . 12/11/2007
I don't know why no one is reviewing this. This is really good stuff actually. I've been going around fictionpress looking for good horror stories but I've seen only a few as realistic as this.
Keep up the good work!