|Reviews for To Have and to Hold|
| Not Dead Fred chapter 30 . 3/4/2008
Oh thank goodness! I swear I was gonna freak out if Gary had hurt Rachel and she lost the baby. I agree with Adam, she was being a dumb shit.
| Dirty White Belt chapter 30 . 3/4/2008
Ahh another cliffhanger, but emotional this time! I love this story, keep up the great writing! Can't wait til the next chapter.
| FireFallon chapter 30 . 3/4/2008
but...you...god! why must you leave cliff hanger type things! WHY!
| princessbleachhead chapter 30 . 3/4/2008
wow, adam to the rescue. bless him, he was protecting his family. i loved it, especially the arguement between him and rachel,it shows how they have grown as a couple. He needs to understand how she feels and same goes for rachel. cant believe its ending, this is one of those stories that just capture your heart and is the type of stories i would want to continue reading if their is a sequel. i loved it, oh gosh.
| princessbleachhead chapter 29 . 3/4/2008
oh my gosh, no no no, why did she go bck? no no no rachel, bless her, i hope she , what will happen icant wait til the next chapter, cant u tell me now? lol. oh no, rachel, trudy the babies no no. pliz can u load the next chapter soon. i literally cant wait. lol. u got me hocked. i loved it. its good. pliz i hope they are alright.
| Dirty White Belt chapter 29 . 3/3/2008
Ahh cliffhanger! This story is amazing, i can't wait til the next chapter!
| Not Dead Fred chapter 29 . 3/3/2008
No! He's gonna hurt Rachel! ANd she's prolly gonna lose her baby! ANd I really hope the Ambulance people get there soon as in before he does serious damage. But the cavalry is always late. And it was incredibly stupid of Rachel to go there by herself.
| Inkhearts and Inkstains chapter 29 . 3/3/2008
Wow- real shocker, please don't keep me in suspense for to long!
| princessbleachhead chapter 28 . 3/1/2008
uh bless rachel, she's becoming quite the wife. i loved this chapter, you are writing the chapters as they are real. you are good, i loved it. cant wait 4 the next chapter. x
| JZK chapter 28 . 3/1/2008
I hope Gary get locked up or something
Just thinking it would be cool if Rachel and Adam have twins - one boy and one girl
| January Skies chapter 28 . 2/29/2008
This is such an awesome story! The plot and characters are very interesting, though you should probably get someone to read it before you post the chapters because you have alot of small errors. Otherwise this is one of the better stories! I can't wait for the next chapter!
| ReadWriteLive chapter 1 . 2/28/2008
just thought I'd give you some comments to help the story...hope you don't take anything the wrong way!
"But then twenty five year old Rachel Crosby supposed sourly. that Adam Maxwell probably did consider himself something of a god, being a big time Property developer, who probably enjoyed the power of playing with peoples lives."
change it to:
"But then, twenty five year old Rachel Crosby supposed sourly, that Adam Maxwell probably did consider himself something of a god since he was a big time property developer, who probably enjoyed the power of playing with peoples' lives."
although since Maxwell is still a developer, I suggest making the whole sentence in present tense...corrections above are strictly grammatical...
"His all powerful business decisions could either, benefit, or crush ones future, depending on which side of the track you came from."
Great line, just remove the "," between "either" and "benefit"!
"Unfortunately for Rachel she happen to be on the wrong side. She was not a land owner, or a hotelier, or the owner of some company looking for a big block of offices, that Adam Maxwell could provide."
put a "," after Rachel. Put two spaces between side and She and remove the "," after offices.
"They had appealed to the local Government and councils for aid, but it seemed the councillors wanted the area redeveloped as well, so they showed a reluctance in helping."
government...doesn't need to be capitalized and councilors only has 1 L (unless you're using another form of English I suppose...)
"So far, the women had only been able to get in contact with Adam Maxwell through corresponding with him in the written word. But they were not getting any satisfaction, as his curt business replies usually just informed them he was sympathetic for their plight, but there was not much he could do."
I'd reword this to:
"So far, the women in charge of Haven had only been able to contact Adam Maxwell through writing but his response had been a curt reply that, while sympathetic to their cause, he could not do anything." (this just trims it down and makes more sense)
"This only infuriated Rachel further, she was determined to meet the man face to face, so she could tell him personally what she thought of him, and what he could do with his deadline"
"This cold brush off only infuriated Rachel further. She was determined to meet the man face to face so she could tell him personally what she thought of him and what he could do with his deadline."
"When she tried phoning him she got an answering service, when she tried to visit his office he was always busy in meetings or away. But she was not going to give up easy"
"When she tried phoning him, she got an answering service; when she tried to visit his office, he was always busy in meetings or away. But she was not going to give up easily. Rachel continued to pester his phone line and office almost daily, hoping if she made enough fuss..." (adding in a little of the next sentence as well there)
also, no comma needed after "came unexpectedly" or after "personal visit"
I'll give you another review as well for chapter 2 and if you would like more help, please let me know.
| JZK chapter 27 . 2/27/2008
i knew it was gonna be dary that beat trudy up
i had a feeling
oh no the stories nearly coming to an end
how sad - oh well at least the story rocks
good luck with the rest
| princessbleachhead chapter 27 . 2/27/2008
oh damn, gosh cant believe it gary is back in the picture. gosh great twist, u keep suprising me. thanks for the baby aspect. hope all goes good. to be truthful i wish it didnt have to end. but hey all gud things must come to an end. i loved this chapter but it got shocking towards the end but i loved it. hope Gary doesnt find rachel, bless her, bless trudy somebody shud beat dat man. cant wait for the next chapter. xx
| Not Dead Fred chapter 27 . 2/27/2008
Poor Trudy! And Rachel too before she got away! Gary Wilson...you know, I was actually hoping that Trudy's baby was Darren's just think of the dram that would cause!