Reviews for To Have and to Hold |
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![]() ![]() ![]() There have been a lot of grammar errors in the past three chapters. The majority are just verb confusion. Might want to look over the chapters again for that. |
![]() ![]() ![]() YAYAYAY I'm so happy she's pregnant ..update soon |
![]() ![]() ![]() YAY! I am so happy she's finally pregnant! And as for the bastard step family they should rot in hell. Adam's father should be informed to give him some happiness, seeing as living with that shrewish bitch he calls wife must be horrid... |
![]() ![]() ![]() YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! |
![]() ![]() ![]() yey cant wait till the next chapter - (for the pregnancy of course) I really like Adams dad I hope he sees what lynn really is in the end |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like it! I'm still reading. It'll take me a little while to catch up, since I'm so busy with things, but I'm reading :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() wow, i like robert maxwell, go adam defending his wife, and thank u so much for sandra getting told off. She needed some shouting. anyway bless adam and rachel. i loved this chapter like mad. oh yea read your author's note, thank you very much. i was waiting for it. cant wait for the next chapter. xx |
![]() ![]() ![]() well then get on with the chapter posting! i'm sure i'm not the only one who wants to know what is going to happen next! :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm exciting about the baby..cant wait for the next chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() So cute. I love it. i'm glad Adam saw and he didnt blame rachel. that was my biggest worry. :) cant wait for more! are they going to have a boy or a girl? SWEM |
![]() ![]() ![]() Darren's a jerk..I hope that Adam's mad at him.. cant wait to see what happens next |
![]() ![]() ![]() that was really good! i like how i could almost feel like i was Rachel. When Darren was cornering her i was starting to tense and feel kinda claustrophobic ya know. and then Gary grr him. I hope adams mad at darren. cant wait for the next chapter! SWEM |
![]() ![]() ![]() wat darren dat idiot, i would have said something stronger than dat but i hve to behave. great chapter, bless rachel good for her, she fought back. bless adam. I loved this chapter bcz i got to find out how deep the step family will go, now that adam and rachel are inlove, it is hard to break them up. And they already know wat they are planning. hahahalol. hope the babies come soon. but i have enjoyed it so far. x |
![]() ![]() ![]() urgh I dont like darren much but i see where he's coming from but it still wont be right anyway couldnt Rachel say something about Lynns background when sandra mentioned rachels i cant wait till the next chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() hello! you've made a wonderful story. I really forget that it's not real and that I'm just reading it, which is just awesome. so first off, well done. you've got a good plot going and I am hooked! a few nitpicks- sometimes the dialogue sounds SLIGHTLY forced, almost as if English isn't the characters' native language. For a modern day story, the way they speak is sometimes a tad over-elaborate, and it strikes as being a little false. “I have not had the most easiest start in life,” is a good example. 'most easiest' is a phrasing that sounds almost childish for such a grown woman, and the 'have not had' paired with it makes the sentence unnecessarily complicated, in my opinion. A better line might have been: "I didn't have the easiest start in life," or something to that effect, which reduces the overall awkwardness of the sentence. There's some lines like that which just struck me as a little odd, but it's nothing serious and it probably is just a matter of preference! One more thing- you don't quite seem to have the grammar of quotation marks punctuation quite down, but since I am not really a grammar freak, it doesn't bother me in the slightest. It just detracts a bit from what would otherwise be a professionally done story. I hope you don't mind me pointing these things out! Your story is wonderful, it really is, and I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. |