|Reviews for I'm No Match|
| skyward squidly squee chapter 1 . 10/17/2009
I liked how after comparing daisies to thirteen roses you compared *stolen glances* to "million dollar kisses," interesting that you compared those two things, because in a way it didn't make sense but I completely understood/related, it made me think (I like to think), and I thought comparing those two things was clever. Wow. I also liked how you used actual examples instead of just explaining how you thought what you gave was no match to what she gave, because it actually creates an actual picture instead of leaving the entire thing up to the reader's imagination, which is nice sometimes.
- giant squid.
Review Marathon - Link's in my profile (xD Look who I'm telling!)
| Counting Petals chapter 1 . 2/16/2009
I like the comparisons you make in the second stanza. It gives us the narrator's mindset perfectly, that the narrator feels that she can't measure up to the other girl. And I basically just like this poem in general, because this is something a lot of people (myself included) can relate to.
I'm not sure if I like the first stanza, though. I feel like the second stanza could probably stand on its own.
| May Elizabeth chapter 1 . 11/30/2008
Another great poem. This is also relateable. Peace.
| Unknown Survivor chapter 1 . 9/29/2008
Very nicely done. Lovely imagery. I'm sorry I didn't review earlier, I'm not getting any alerts.
p.s. Thanks for the reveiw btw.
| lymli chapter 1 . 8/9/2008
the stanza 2 about the roses is very great, I like that imagery a lot, and the first stanza is a cool intro :)
| night62611 chapter 1 . 7/30/2008
wow this one is perfect... a curious use of the number 13, last two lines left me a bit taken... enjoyed it
| lackluster chapter 1 . 6/26/2008
i can relate to this...not so much the last stanza but definitely the first. but the second stanza's the one with all the beautiful imagery and lovely wording. altogether, it's perfect.
| Setsuna529 chapter 1 . 6/15/2008
That final stanza is fantastic. I love how the juxtaposition of daisies/roses and glances/kisses enhances the discrepancies between them. Great writing.
| Fractured Illusion chapter 1 . 2/27/2008
Anyhow, I am here to review ambush you since you won the Review Marathon..as we all know by know!
To the poem!
I must admit, I did not care much for the two first stanzas, especially since the 2nd doesn't make much sense as I intepret the third as if he already chose, so then I think "why is she bothering asking this obvious answer-question?"
The word choices in those two weren't strong or stood out, either.
3rd stanza, however..! :D
The comparisons were just so...so...what is the word? Befitting? Lovely? Interesting? Unique? Take your pick.
Suggestion, though, because when I read it at first it sounded wrong in my head. It'd sound better if you had it like this:
"Sneaking glimpses at the life
Because my daisies"
or something like thiat. Or just "you’ve chosen, because my daisies"
Maybe it's just me though.
Anyohw, lovely. :3
| torn pieces chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
Your favorite number is 13, right?
| Esther Jade chapter 1 . 2/11/2008
The word choice in the last stanza is just gorgeous. I love the contrasts between "daisies" and "roses"; "stolen" and "million dollar"; and "glances" and "kisses". My favourite is probably the stolen-million dollar one - just awesome. I also think specifying the thirteen is inspired - it just gives that slightly ominous shadow to the relationship he's chosen.
Again, I think that punctuation would bring it to an even higher level as you don't want someone rushing through the stanza because they can't say it in one breath. However, I'm not quite sure where to put it in. You could put a colon between "chosen" and "because" as you're introducing an explanation and you could put a semi-colon after "roses". You definitely can't put any other end-stopping because the enjambment on the other lines is quite masterful.
I think the first stanza could probably use a bit of work. The rhythm in the questions is great and I kind of get where you're going with "side-sideline" thing. However, I just don't think it's on the same level as the final stanza. One idea I had was using a more domestic image - maybe contrasting being in the house or watching from outside. Because the concept is a man choosing between two women (rather than a woman between two men), I think a contrast more suggestive of women would be better than a sports allusion. Just my opinion but I like exchanging ideas with you so I thought I'd throw that out there.
| lookin4nemo chapter 1 . 1/21/2008
this is really good! i love the line that says the million dollar kiss! very good!
| ce n'est pas que je m'appelle chapter 1 . 1/17/2008
Oh wow. I absolutely love this piece. I love the comparisons you draw between you and the other girl. This is definately something that everyone can relate to. Great job! Adding this to my favorites list.
| a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 1/6/2008
I think the emotion is well expressed. I like the phrase "13 dozen roses", it's original. Nice job.
| Julius Gillian chapter 1 . 1/2/2008
It's like a mild love-letter card I would find in Kmart.
It's straightforward and honest, good job.