ooh i liked this a lot! cool names :P

x lauren

Wow 0.0 need to find out what happens! A little confusing, though. But great, all the same!

Not sure if you care now, since it's like three months since you've updated this story. But I think it has great potential. I can see the headmaster taking a personal interest in the child, while the other children and teachers, become afraid of her when they see a smidgen of her power. Maybe a scene where she's being teased because of her young age, maybe she isn't as young as everyone thinks. And as the years go by, he starts to grow soft on her and treat her like a daughter. But then the same people who killed her real parents attack the school and kill him (or hire one of the students to do it.) I can see a growing bad nation happening, she's the ultimate power key type of thing. Okay so in other words I see lots of potential. I think it's safe to say I'm intrigued. Start of a potential series perhaps...*hint hint* :)

The only negative would be the proof reading that needs to happen. Some grammar mistake, style and flow worked on, maybe some structured to the writing. Other than that...

Interesting Intro. I didn't understand the end 'definitions'. but I am intrigued. I'll keep reading

I like this story- it has a great deal of potential. Kiar, maybe she'd do something really unexpected. Maybe she can directly speak to the horses, maybe she's destructive. Just a thought.

Great job

Keep writing! :)

Scarlet Lady