|Reviews for My Personal Love Z|
| Kiea Evergreen chapter 7 . 1/5/2008
Yay, Macgyver! I love Macgyver! He rules! **screams girlie** Poor, Amanda. What is she going to do? I feel bad for Chloe, having to lie for Amanda. I see trouble in the future. Update soon and keep up the great work! Write you later!
p.s. Chloe isn't very good at lying, she has to work on that. :)
| Calypso Silverhawk chapter 7 . 1/5/2008
Ooh, the suspense! Things are starting to pick up, I like that.
I know it's the first chapter that John appears in, but he seems a little...flat. Believable, but not really anything realistic; he sounds a lot like Chris. I don't know if you'll develop his character more in future chapters or not but that's just what I'm feeling.
Great chapter! :)
| Hopelessly Clueless chapter 6 . 1/3/2008
Great chapter! It's going to be very hard for her to forget him! I hope they, Chole and Chris, get together soon! :)
| Hopelessly Clueless chapter 3 . 1/3/2008
sorry im reviewing late, but great chapter!:)
| Calypso Silverhawk chapter 6 . 1/2/2008
This was an awesome chapter, in my opinion. I forgot to critique while reading it because I was so enraptured (sp?) by how real everything felt...very emotional chapter, too. Props to ya!
| loves him chapter 1 . 1/1/2008
Talk about an eventful chapter. When the accident occured, I just kind of jumped. If anything, I'd suggest to have your editors go over the chapter once again because I saw a few mistakes here and there. But still, good job with this chapter.
| Kiea Evergreen chapter 6 . 1/1/2008
Hm... interesting chapter. Poor Chloe, having to pretend to be happy for Amanda. I get the feeling things are going to get interesting. Well, can't wait for the next chapter! Keep up the great work. Write you later!
| Calypso Silverhawk chapter 5 . 12/30/2007
*cries at sad chapter* I'm sorry, I just relate to Chloe a lot...I really felt for her at the ending, there.
I guess to make the ending more powerful you could try to get rid of the passive voice; you could substitute "It felt like someone stabbed my stomach with a knife" instead of "my stomach was stabbed with a knife." You can probably come up with a better substitution but I do know that something written in active tense is better than passive (is, are, was, were, etc.)
May I submit that you are an awesome writer? :D
| Kiea Evergreen chapter 5 . 12/30/2007
Poor Chloe! I feel so sorry for her. This chapter made me laugh at some parts, but I felt so bad for Chloe at the end. I was actually rooting for her.(How ironic) I always seem to root for the main girl character that wants the guy. The girl that always seem invisiable. Well, Chloe wasn't invisiable to Chris at that moment (or any other time), she caught his attention. "Come on Chloe, you can do it!" I felt screaming to her and telling Amanda to go away or to stop intrupting. Anyway, keep up the great work and I can't wait for the next chapter! Write you later! (sorry if this sounds kind of scatter brainish, my brain is in a scatter brain mood, can't really think today!)
| Kiea Evergreen chapter 4 . 12/30/2007
Poor Chloe, that sucks. Everything seems to happen to her. At least Chris was there! Love is in the air! Poor Chloe, I like who she is, but I guess a lot of girls feel like that. Well, keep up the great work and I can't wait for the next chapter! Write you later!
| Calypso Silverhawk chapter 4 . 12/29/2007
Only thing that stood out to me was this: Instead of saying Chloe squinted her eyes at Chris, I think a better word choice would be Chloe *narrowed* her eyes at Chris.
Very good chapter! -applauds-
| Calypso Silverhawk chapter 3 . 12/18/2007
I'll attempt to edit this as I read!~
I think at the beginning, when you start a new paragraph and repeat "summer semester had finally begun", that you can take that part out (the summer semester thing). Because it sounds redundant to me.
I *think* there should be a comma after 'another', before 'heading'.
When you say "I was flustered" I think it'd sound better if you said "I became flustered". 'Cause you weren't flustered before, so...yeah.
Change suppose to supposed. ;)
I think you could pick a different word for 'cruel' when talking about Amanda's sarcasm. I know that sarcasm is usually harsh and biting but when you say cruel, it caught me off guard and I was waiting to see why Amanda would be so cruel (which of course never happened). Just a thought.
I think that's all the ones I could find. Boy that's a long review. Well, you wanted me to edit, so I did. ;D
Keep up the good work!
| Kiea Evergreen chapter 3 . 12/17/2007
LOL, this chapter was hilarious. I love how Chloe ended up having her classes with Chris. That was funny and the conversations she had with him. Great chapter. Keep up the awsome work and up-date soon! Write you later!
| love-everlasting chapter 3 . 12/16/2007
Aw no! I want Chloe and Chris to be together. Not Amanda and Chris :( Good work on this chapter though!
| Twilight Starr chapter 2 . 12/16/2007
The bantering was cute along with the nurse part. Nice work. :)