I cant believe shes pregnant, great chapter

Im glad shes ok, cant wait to see what happens next

Great chapter

Im glad shes in love with him, great chapter

This is a great story

Great chapter

Cant wait to see what happens next

I really like this so far

Great start

Thanks for the review! :)

I'm really proud that such a popular author like yourself has had time to check out other people's work.

Congratulations on the nomination for the award – your story and characters are excellent, and I’m becoming addicted! Can’t wait to read what happens next.

aw! :]

so cute! :D :D :D

wow awesome story lawl must of taken agess... )

Wow, what a charmer. One minute he's getting snappy about not treating her right, then the next he's telling her to get lost. SHE should've told him where to go instead of meekly doing as he said. Hoping to see a bit more 'spunk' lol from her in later chapters. :)

Okay, so here's my official review of the story. Remember, I am leaving this to help, not to insult. I also understand that this story is a little older and may not reflect your current writing style.

First off, I can see why this story is so popular. It is a cute romance with some plot twists and a warm ending.

But I feel that you rely on too much dialogue to both move the plot forward and to define your characters. There is very little narravtive and when it is thrown in it is a little less than thought out like "as if sensing her usease, he came to sit by her" if he felt her unease, wouldn't he try to make himself seem less frightening and therefore be less aggressive? I've noticed several inconsistencies like this throughout the story. Another example that stuck with me was "She still hadn't returned and he was worried. So he got up and took a shower". I just felt that that reaction immediately after that thought was kind of contradicting. If he cared about her, wouldn't he be more quick to action?

Also, Marina's character is just so blah about everything. She really seemed just along for the ride for most of the story. Not at all points though, sometimes she did act of her own volition, but it kind of felt like the story was dictating her, not the other way around.

And your wording is often awkward and occasionally feels incomplete. I felt that you moved too fast and that is was sort of unrealistic at some points. I couldn't relate to any of the characters and didn't feel like they were believable. I feel that this was because you had a large cast and not much time was devoted to developing their personalities. I also felt like all of the important boding time and alone time that passed between Tristan and MArina was skipped over. And while we knew they had this deep connection, we couldn't really _feel_ it.

As I said before, the story is very interesting and a good quick read if you're craving a vampire romance. But unfortunately I feel like it didn't qualify for the award, given the reasons listed above. But with a little reworking and time, it could definitely have a chance in a later season. Thank you though! And I hope you keep receiving lots of reveiws!

Best Wishes,

~Kandice

I think your explanation would have been nicer if it was somehow incorporated into that actual story. I think it would have made the chapter go more smoothly and not be so "huh?" at some points.