|Reviews for This is what you look like when you sleep|
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 7/6/2009
That was beautiful! Your writing will never cease to amaze me, each and every time.
I love your descriptions in this,
the spider reference especially.
Everything was just perfect, I could read this everyday.
| SweetWithUncertainty chapter 1 . 3/6/2008
i almost forgot this poem site existed, but I'm glad I thought of it yesterday...I've been going through my work of the past, and I just wanted to say thanks for being so supportive about my work
Something about this poem makes me feel so warm, yet quickly followed by a small tingle in my spine, especially with the last stanza. Something simple, something curious, something beautiful.
| Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 2/22/2008
Quality, quality portrait. It aches with reality. Visual, true, honest, and made relatable through the mixture of details, and what isn't said. MD:77.
| White Tea and Ginger chapter 1 . 12/29/2007
Pretty. The imagery is delicate, I love the mentions of spiders and thick threads. Nicely done. Love this bit: "I want to take each intake, take it/into me; swallow/every angle and edge."
| TinuvielDork chapter 1 . 12/22/2007
You never fail to astound me with the beauty in your words, and the feelings they convey. I always love to read whatever poem you write. You had such description in this one, and I especially liked the breaking up of the stanzas. "All innocent, silent, and so still."
I think my favorite, though, was "I'm alone here in this space with you;/wandering without movement and words,/wallowing,/in love with falling out of love with you./Within you" That section just caught my breath.
Lovely, as always.
| Julius Gillian chapter 1 . 12/18/2007
It's always a pleasure to hear from you. Thanks for the kind remarks.
I look forward to you reading my story, but I'm going to have to remove the story for now. It didn't come out exactly like I wanted it to. I improvise alot when I write stories, and as I develop it lots of old stuff usually needs to be revamped. And I often feel like my stories are very peculiar, and unsatisfactory. I'm very sensitive about what I write and how it comes out. So that will have to wait, I'm curious to see what you think of my writing style though. I write stuff quickly, I'll probably have something up this or the next following night. Once it's up again I plan to stay with it until the end, another thing I have a hard time doing!
What else did I want to say?
Oh yeah, Fiona Venus was very fun to read. I have a secret: all my creative writing comes from math class. Ironic isn't it?
Need to get going but keep in touch,
- J :)
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 12/15/2007
interesting piece.. I love your descriptions.. the braids thing and the spider thing were awesome.. I also really like the line "in love with falling out of love with you"
| Julius Gillian chapter 1 . 12/15/2007
This poem feels very rich with warmth, contrary to your most recent poems that have been marred by possible fights and emotional tension. Hopefully I am right? It's superb you're finally seeing the sunrise, wherever you are Juliet.
in love with falling out of love with you.
frozen against my breast.'
I pictures in blue (for some reason) a frozen moment in time. Frozen and blue... hmm, goes together. So yeah, I conjured up this intimate moment of calm peace when I read this. My favorite part of your poem.
Keep it up,
| orionschild chapter 1 . 12/14/2007
so surreal. good job. sometimes the best thing in the world is just to sleep beside the one you love. :)