|Reviews for To Love|
| Vee11 chapter 1 . 11/5/2010
HEY! i really liked the starting of this story. Those childish quarrels, haha and those in between flashbacks as well. Well, it seemed like Jack brought the misfortune upon himself. haha.
| Innocence of Chaos chapter 1 . 8/15/2008
Oh, I wanna cry. But that is how it is, isn't it. Poor Jack.
| QuebecNights chapter 1 . 8/13/2008
jack and rosie...reminds me of the titanic...
| Day2Dreamer chapter 1 . 4/22/2008
No! No, no, no, no, no, NO! *sob*...
That's terrible! (The idea of that happening, not the story, which I happened to adore!)... I started reading the story, and it began with this cute little piece about a girl claiming that she'd marry this guy. That made me smile since it was just adorable, and stood out especially because so many other stories involve the guy saying that instead of the girl (nice change, by the way!).
It progressed on to the Damon story (the not-expecting-it-to-last-two-seconds and the consequent it-lasted-two-painful-years bit was heart-wrenching!), which was a really nice addition...
And then I started started skim reading (because I do that when I'm eager to find out what happens at the end - I'm completely, totally and utterly incapable of pacing myself when intense emotion is involved!), and figured that she was walking down the aisle to Jack!
So I was thinking that this would be a purely happy, no-complications kind of story (which I haven't come across for quite some time - probably with good reason... but I was looking forwards to finishing reading something which just consisted of cheerful, sweet reminiscence!), and suddenly, I came across Kyle Morrison finding the perfect girl...
"That's odd," I thought to myself as I was reading... "the page ends really soon, and there's not much writing left - when do you describe Jack and Rosie getting together?"
And then: BOOM! "Jack smiled a half-hearted smile, as he watched them both kiss."... I had to re-read that bit a few times, because it just didn't seem to make sense! And then I scrolled up, and re-read a bit more... and did it again... and re-read further up... and then re-read it yet again... then came back down to re-read... (lol, am I getting the point across that I had to re-read this many, MANY times? Not because you didn't make sense, but because I was just so shocked and horrified!).. and then finished the story! )
I really, truly enjoyed reading your story, and I'll admit that it pulled a few tears from my eyes (I'm feeling particularly emotional for no real reason!), and it was heart-breaking!
I would have to agree with a previous reviewer, squiggle-line, about the ""If he wasn't as modest as [he?] usually was..."" bit.
Having "Jack Hamilton" there instead of the "[he?]" does make the sentence sound a little weird - if you wanted to avoid saying "he" too many times, it might have sounded nice as:
"If he wasn't as modest as he usually was, Jack Hamilton would have been...", although obviously, that's just a suggestion!
I would also like to know a bit more about Kyle, although his abrupt appearance wasn't such an issue for me.
I think the flashbacks are great though - they really bring out a sense of history between the characters, and therefore make it all the more heart-breaking (gosh, how many times have I said that so far? lol!) for the reader in the end. Even the fact that they pop up so often and break the present-time into bits is great, because that's just the way memories are... the ones you hold closest to your heart pop up in your mind easily and often enough.
As it is, they add to the narration, and I love the way you initially bring up the: "Damon will be here any minute and I don't think my face is just right."... It explains the situation and what she's doing/going on about without actually saying it bluntly... I thought it was fantastic!
Hahaha, and I'd agree with squiggle-line (again!) that that particular quote isn't something you'd normally find someone saying if they're going through heartbreak - that's not to say they wouldn't say it AFTER they'd been through it and had a little while to reflect, though! Maybe Jack was just resigned to them being together (he would have to have had time to get used to the idea while they were engaged!)? Although the wedding might have been more of a "good-bye" point, and therefore more painful... I don't know!
What I do know is that this was a pleasure to read, and that the last line really made the heart-break hit home... Wonderful work! D
| found.eventually chapter 1 . 3/18/2008
Gasp. It was supposed to be a happy love story! The first flashback was adorable, and I found myself thinking "aww. It'll end in a really cute way." but NO. You just HAD to make him lose her. But i liked it! Like, really, really liked it. Though the flashbacks got kind of distracting. Maybe you should separate them from the present. Just a thought. :)
| squiggle-line chapter 1 . 3/11/2008
Woah. Didn't see that coming.
"If he wasn't as modest as [he?] usually was..."
I want to know more about Kyle. I think his appearance in the end would seem less convenient if you mention him earlier. I mean, he's mentioned after Damon, who doesn't play any role in the story at all.
The flashbacks are a bit distracting...is there any way you could you incorporate the scenes into the narration more?
I like the twist in the end and I think it's interesting that you've written a scene based on a quotation. "To love and to have lost is better than to have never loved at all" are definitely words uttered by someone not going through a hearbreak.
| cbprice25 chapter 1 . 2/17/2008
| silvershadow23 chapter 1 . 2/4/2008
i just wanna let you know that i started tearing up from this...really beautifully written. Congratulations on your SKOW nomination. This story deserves it.
| misery-business22 chapter 1 . 2/2/2008
Oh thats written though.
| mia5081 chapter 1 . 1/16/2008
That was so incredibly sad...but very well written lol.
Good Job :D
| x3life chapter 1 . 1/6/2008
this was depressingg! ( but i really enjoyed reading it!
| Lily Llynn chapter 1 . 1/6/2008
Sad, yet funny and cute at the beginning. Generally well-written, with a little awkwardness (but who doesn't?). A pretty awesome oneshot, which is why I'm adding it to my c2. (:
| luv me like no other chapter 1 . 1/1/2008
wow. this is so sad. however, i really liked how u interpreted that saying.
| into the black chapter 1 . 12/31/2007
Oh god, this breaks my heart. I want to cry :[. But I do agree with the quote. Or else you never know what love you missed out on.
| angels and airwaves chapter 1 . 12/30/2007
Wow, this was heartbreaking. :( Really awesome job on conveying his loss. But I agree that to love and to have lost is better than to have never loved at all. :)