Reviews for Celestial
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
Great rhyme in this. It's never forced, and it gives your words a smooth, mystical feel.

Your line breaks were a bit odd at times, though. This one especially: "can sing along/With, except the sun." Even with enjambment, the pauses didn't read right, and it confused the meaning a bit.

Anyway, I like your word choice in general. "Eternal," "keeper of dreams," "gleam" - they all contribute to a very otherworldly feel.

Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
felicia13 chapter 1 . 1/11/2008
The rhyme was kinda obvious in this one. A little jarring. I always wonder about your line breaks until I remember that you do rhyme most of your poetry. But this... I actually saw the rhyme before I got to the weird line breaks. It's not bad, it's just not the way I like to read your pieces.

Subject-wise, it was cool. The moon and the sun are constant inspiration... as demonstrated by the fact that you can go to any time period and find something about one or the other. You added a nice little twist to something already so cliched, so nicely done there. And I like the idea of the sun and moon being twins... maybe if you added something about them being seperated... like within sight of each other, but too far apart to do anything other than stare... I think I'd LOVE this. But it's a personal choice.

Pssh. Way to update, like, 50 poems in about a month. *is just joshing you*

Felicia.