Reviews for To sleep forever
Matthew James Current chapter 1 . 1/20/2008
There is such beauty in your work and your thoughts echo my own in this poem. In fact one of my person quotes is that "There is a difference between merely existing and truly living." A sentiment which is echoed in the line "to simply exist as a watery thought / deep below the pain and distrought."

I can see in your work, an apptitude with rhyming that goes above the average joe poet. Where a lot of lines would seem forced or lack overal tonal continuity, only a few in your works do. This shows an apptitude that can, with time, be refined into a strong skill as an artist.

I'd suggest experimenting with rhyme. Use rhyming lines interspersed with unrhymed lines. Or poems that have rhymed stanzas paired with unrhymed stanzas. There's a lot of different things you could do to challenge yourself and improved your ability to use rhyming naturally in your work. Maybe do a poem a day or a week where you experiment with using rhyming so that you can build the skill over time? Use whatever really works for you, experimentation and practice is worthless unless you can really enjoy it, use it, and benefit from it.
flying drumsticks chapter 1 . 1/2/2008
Wow. Reading this poem was like reading my own thoughts, but in an organized fashion :)
never-written chapter 1 . 12/16/2007
I like this poem because it puts into words exactly what I've been thinking about nice it would be to just...give in...yet, that's admitting defeat.

It's a paradox, isn't it?

Nice ending. It left a mixture of determination and sadness lingering over me.
blacknimproud chapter 1 . 12/16/2007
Amazing. Now I really wish I can sleep forever. Sometimes when I wake up, I get mad. lol. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
Princess-anna57 chapter 1 . 12/16/2007
Well written. I like the concept of this poem a lot. Great. Write on.