Reviews for It's Finished
deefective chapter 1 . 7/17/2008
Wow, this was really really really well written. I am absolutely in love with it. My favorite line is probably: I don’t want to grow up yet they say I’m mature/(between my legs and hips and lips I’m sure). There is an eerie feel to this whole piece and it gives it that extra oophm. And I think the way you ended with the title of the piece and the way that it did not rhyme with any other line was pure genius. This was a captivating piece and you should know it. Good job.
the Stranger in the moonlight chapter 1 . 1/17/2008
This was simply spectacular poetry. It felt so painful to read of such real tragedies it was an experience of pain in and of itself.

I loved the lines:

"My thoughts are static but my motive’s pure

I don’t want to grow up yet they say I’m mature

(between my legs and hips and lips I’m sure)"

They really bit at the irony and difficulty and disicipline it takes to even appear mature let alone actually believe to yourself that you are. Because it is so much easier to live as a little kid, mistakes normally take mere apologies before all is right again with your world...

Excellent poem as a whole.

the Stranger in the moonlight
laughter at the funeral chapter 1 . 12/26/2007
i kinda like the rhyming scheme...

While demons form choirs to sing

Twisted notes to a broken piano song

this is lovely

and i love the gentle darkness in this poem.

good job

truly yours...
TylerB chapter 1 . 12/26/2007
It's oh so bleak and so much darker than I'm used to you writing. But brilliant in your expression and beautiful as usual.
fairytale failure chapter 1 . 12/24/2007
I love your use of rhyme in this piece. It is so unforced that you almost don't realize it is there, except that it gives your poem that neatly-tied-up effect that rhyming has. My favourite was the fifth stanza, especially "I'm stretched out across worlds / One that's real and one that's words". (I assume it was meant to be two lines.)
SirScott chapter 1 . 12/20/2007
Another excellent poem from you, but I reckon that goes without saying.

SirScott
i am pookie chapter 1 . 12/19/2007
humanity loves to make no sense yet pretend that that's their fucking tade.

i love the raw truth to this poem, and the subtle plea for something to grip on that makes at least a bit of sense.

awesome poem.
lost for words chapter 1 . 12/18/2007
I love how utterly morbid and apocalyptic this is and how it seems just to eminate despair in a quiet, elegant way. I especially liked the angels/demons lines in the first stanza, and the metaphors and comparisons througout are very powerful.

One thing: Did you mean the first line of the fifth stanza to be two lines? It looks like that may have been the case.
with.You.in.mind chapter 1 . 12/18/2007
I like the tone you spice into it; the rhyming adds to the effect, of course.

Nicely done! I like your descriptive phrases... got me thinking.
Imperia chapter 1 . 12/18/2007
hey, wonderful poem! definitely one of the most memorable i've read. keep writing!
DiaRose chapter 1 . 12/18/2007
Ooh, this is really beautiful! And so unique, I love the ideas and the lovely wording! I think I shall favorite this one, I really love it.

Love,

Dia