|Reviews for Burnination|
| Someone Better Than You chapter 1 . 6/5/2008
It's always the most brutal reviewers who use their unreasonable mockery and empty 'suggestions' in a dire attempt to compensate for their own lack of writing abilities.
Here's my review for you.
Get off your high horse. You're nothing special and the reviews you've given people offer nothing useful. Period. You cover yourself by telling us you 'know you're not the best' and that 'you call them like you see them' well, how about you use those 'excellent' eyes of yours on this story. Or all of them, for that matter. You hate the cardboard characters and cliches, well Jesus Christ man, it can't get more run-of-the-mill boring Fantasy with your work. This is the sort of paperback Fantasy no-sellers you can't give away.
So why don't you come down to Earth with the rest of us, kick yourself in the backside for good measure because God knows you've clearly not been hit there enough times in your life, and the next time you 'review' someone, remember this:
You are not a unique snowflake. So while you laugh and mock this comment, using your pathetic words to build up your emotional wall and convince yourself you were untouched by me review, just know I'm not the only one whose called you out. It doesn't take an irate author to stab at the FP dwellers who love to do nothing but make people feel like shit and offer no advice afterwards.
Get a new hobby.
You've had the same people over and over review your work, a few angry comments, a few who were so amused in the 'not good' way review, leaving a very, very little fan base for yourself. And for your own personal knowledge, you have just been flamed by a former FP writer, who on a bad day, received over 10,0 readers per chapter of her work. And yes, I did have thousands of reviews.
You sir, have been laughed at, considerably. Please go copulate with yourself and enjoy the rest of your day. Stop insisting you are the only master of Fantasy.
-Someone Better Than You.
| nightdragon0 chapter 16 . 3/3/2008
I do actually like this story better than the other one at the moment.
Mainly cause H’ssanth is so blatantly stubborn, it affects his decisions and those around him to the point where you just shake your head and sigh. I suppose fighting amongst your family members is a common thing in Red society? But you can see his mother does care more about her family reputation that about him.
Ar’idanth is surprisingly turning out to be an interesting character. Mainly cause he seems to have something H’ssanth doesn't...a sense of humor. And that being said after the former nearly beat him to death.
| Casey Drake chapter 16 . 3/1/2008
...Holy crap his mother is scary. I mean, it was implied and even stated outright many times that she was a dragon... wait... *tries to think of a less ironic term* a battleax? that works. Anyway, that was... the impression is brought to me in a whole new way.
| Casey Drake chapter 11 . 3/1/2008
Oh my. I'm enjoying this. It is an interesting little commentary, as well as being a good story in itself.
Now, what is H'ssdar up to, indeed?
| Shadowhound chapter 16 . 2/25/2008
-A point based review system...the problem is that you'd actually have to read crappy stories.
-Interesting that in a fit of maternal affection, H'ssanth's mother worries about his life and how it reflects on her own.
-H'ssanth's mother isn't really keen on maternal instincts, strangling her son and all.
-Not much to say about this chapter, though I'm curious to see what trouble H'ssdar's got herself into.
| no one chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
| Casey Drake chapter 6 . 2/17/2008
Well, that last line is certainly ominous. As is Sa'noranth's interest in a dragon-smith.
| Shadowhound chapter 15 . 2/15/2008
And so the truth about H'ssanth's sister comes out. My bet is firmly on her being involved with the terrorists.
Not much else to say about the chapter, though I'm curious to see how H'ssanth interacts with his mother.
| Shadowhound chapter 14 . 2/15/2008
-"Fire and ash, it wasn’t even an order. It was a prediction..."
I've never cared much for the whole "it was a prediction" thing, and your not the first person to use it. There are situations where it might be acceptable, like in planning a war or in blackmail, but here the officer has made it clear the reason behind her taking H'ssanth's stuff and they won't usually try unless they know for a fact they can do it. In most cases, they give the person an IOU so they can get the minimal compensation from the gov't. from the losses of their 'donations' to the cause. Plus it helps prevent people from sympathizing with the terrorists too much. Also, if a civilian refuses to give up his/her property and the supplies are needed, I think the gov't wouldn't mind taking it by force if necessary.
-Question, what is a Blaze? Is it a rank or something? I'm a little confused on that issue.
-'that qualifies you for this kind of witness protection'
How about protective custody instead of witness protection? Witness protection implies that the person has witnessed something and are going to testify against someone and are being kept hidden to keep them alive.
| Reda chapter 1 . 2/15/2008
... Why...Why did you have to take Nightbane away before I could finish it? Ahh... I either wanna see it published or back on ficpress. Geh
So anyway, once I got over the fact that it would be a long time until I got to finish that really great story (yes, it hurts to admit this) of yours...I've decided to come poke around on this one.
"What do you expect us to do, uneat your food?" lol
Although, this thought did hit my mind: Funny, but it sounds odd. I wouldn't expect to see something like that written for food delivered to my house or anything, if you get my drift.
I keep mixing up their names. Agh. Confusing. Why oh why did you do that? Okay, so H'ssath is the main character and H'ssdar is his sister. I think I remembered that right. *_*
So. This isn't near as grabbing as Nightbane. It feels kind of dull, and NOT because it's missing flash-bang-whiz. Maybe I just need some suspense or something...or I dunno...The characters even feel a bit dull. I had to re-read the chapter to understand the setting and what exactly was going on, and even now it's kinda...dull. (Although the odd rock mystery thing has managed to grab my curious interest)
Sorry I'm a bit lacking on the vocabulary _
Not bad. Just. Not great.
I want Nightbane back :( (Curse my lack of time to read!)
| Erisah Mae chapter 15 . 2/15/2008
Heh, Really enjoying this one- the cynical renegade red dragon and your cast of various disgruntled outcasts are hilarious.
| Shadowhound chapter 13 . 2/6/2008
-The favors thing at the beginning went on a bit too long for an analogy. Well thought out, though odd, I think it just needs to be shorter
-Voicing the fears of Grothanin Janan, what conflict is there between H'ssanth and his mother that H'ssanth would rather die than be 'dragged back.' You made it clear that she disapproves of H'ssanth's occupation, but at the same time she doesn't have any problems making a profit from his work. His spiel at the end explains why he's afraid of her, but now what he did to earn this fear.
| Shadowhound chapter 12 . 2/6/2008
-Doesn't seem like a good idea to leave a relatively helpless person alone after a terrorist attack. I just imagine that after H'ssanth thwarting multiple of their endeavors that they'd be more than angry, especially since he's killed several of their members. I imagine a retaliatory attack would be in order where they would send more than just two or three people for revenge. I'd send a dozen armed dragonkin to wait until the soldiers H'ssanth went for to leave and then go in and kill the smith.
-The terrorists were involved with kidnapping? Hope the victems had insurance. Seems like a good way to fund their organization, aside from making a point politically. Kidnap a rich person, offer a ransom to their friends and family, collect the money, and do whatever they do after that. In your terrorist's situation they might buy a bomb or something.
-"Proof you’ve read and agree with what I’ve written and all that protocol nonsense."
Your soldiers and officers are pretty informal. Most aspects of bureaucracy survive because it is forced down the public's throat. Even when the people know what they're doing is pointless and only serves to complicate everyone's lives they still do it because there is some point to it...hidden deep, deep beneath the bureaucracy. While they might personally despise the bureaucracy they still try to maintain a unified from to the public to try and make them see that it is, in a way, important to keep the government running smoothly. Unless you're trying to show that the bureaucracy is ineffective there's no reason to have someone show distaste with it.
-Again I question the efficiency of using metal to keep records. Paper is much more affordable, easy to mass produce, and is easy to store. Even if the metal foil is popular among the dragonkin, give reasons why it is prefered over paper.
-Forensics? CSI Salient?
| nightdragon0 chapter 12 . 2/3/2008
Actions have consequences, even if H’ssanth hadn't realized it at first. The things going on with his sister are interesting though. Well given how he acts towards her, it's probably mutual that she won't be telling him everything.
| Shadowhound chapter 11 . 1/31/2008
I recently found out that there is a device called a bolt pistol used to knock out cattle prior to slaughtering them. It's a hand-held device that shoots out a small metal bolt to hit the target on the forehead and knock them out. It has to be pushed up against the forehead to be used effectively. The bolt pistol has the capability of punching through the skull and damaging the brain. The perks of it is that it is a reusable and effective tool. They put it to good use in the movie No Country for Old Men.
Not much else to say, though I'm beginning to suspect that H'ssdar might be involved with the rebels.