...Wow, that was different, I've have never actually read a prolouge that killed two people so quickly, but it sets up the mood for the story greatly, and matched the summary pretty well. I gotta say, nice job.

I didn't know you reamde the story, but the idea excited me, I loved the originals. I hope all the original cast comes back in, but this new feeling makes the story much more mature. Very good.

Can't give much CC, I don't notice anything wrong with this so far.

Keep Writing!

Durandel

Well, good chapter here overall. I really like the action here and Helena reminds me of the Highlander lol! :D tbh tho, I've got plans for a person along the same line for ages for Circles of Arven. Problem is that the time hasn't come yet. :S Anyway, I'm interested to see who the murderer is and how Claire and co will escape from this whole scenario. ;) And yeah, on the guy that you've mentioned at the end of this chapter, I really wonder who he really is. Ah well, guess I can only find out when you update this. :S

Heya there! It's me after such a long time lol! XD Anyway, sorry for being late here. Got my own stuff. Well, let's see. For some reason, this chapter seems like a combo of Ju-on and Chronicles of Narnia. Ok, you can ignore this statement. I'm a bit high on weird now. :P Well, I'll say interesting chapter here. Leaves the reader wanting for more. And yeah, since Helena's here, will Tessa be a character here as well given your original take on her? Anyway, interesting end to this chapter. I'll be curious to see what will happen from there.

P.S: Hope you can review the latest chapter of Elven Chronicles soon. I guess you're super busy from what I've seen in your profile. Just remember to review soon, ok? ;)

Add P.S: Got a new story finished written now. Hopefully I can get it up within a few days and see your review for it soon. :)

Great work! I really like this story. Keep up the good work and update soon.

Feel free to read some of my works.

Hey there! It's me again lol! XD Anyway, glad to see you update again. Well, again, good chapter here. But I think you might want to cut down on the humor and focus more on the plot. That being said though, this chapter's rather funny. At least I don't see any sexual humor here. And yeah, the last part of this chapter is rather spooky. A ghost story perhaps? And yeah, in case you don't know, The Elven Chronicles has been updated for some time. Hope to see your review for it soon. :)

Great job ont his chapter my friend! It's been a while since I've seen an update from you but I thought you might just be busy.

I really like how this is coming along and I'm definitely anticipating your next chapter!

This is what I was guessing was going to happen as soon as the female officer was killed, but still...whoa...

Well, sorry for not reviewing earlier. Not online for quite a few days... _ Anyway, good action scenes as always. Also, good to see that you've never used any manga sexual humor here for at least. I'm not having anything against it, but rather I think it could be a refreshing change here. Btw, I think it would suck majorly for me if Akito got excluded. Or if that's the case, then maybe you shuld put in some pivotal male character and not only meant that character as a joke. Apart from that, nothing much to say. Anyway, hope to see this update soon! Bye! :)

Well, glad to see that you're back up again. :) Anyway, nothing much to say for this chapter except the car chase scene was rather well done. On a side note, I just have this feeling that the name of the suspect seems rather weird, but then again, it could be just me... anyway, interesting end to this chapter. I wonder how Claire and co will catch the suspect. And yeah, I assume that this is only the sub plot of this story. Looking forward to see what you can do for the main plot... ;)

A few questions. While the firearms are mainly real, why would someone use an impractical, bulky gun like the C96? Unless it's just cool. Still, for some cooler (and a bit more realistic) guns, plenty of choices. For big and impractical (but cool) guns, perhaps Desert Eagle, Smith and Wesson 500, or Taurus Raging Bull? Though the Vietnam vet that uses two M1911s may have wrist problems (to say the least) if he uses them akimbo. Not to mention lack of accuracy and reload issues. Though they are proven guns.

Sort of a bummer that the suspect never got caught, but then again, that leaves space for any possible development on his character, no matter how minor. Anyway, I like the way you revamped your characters. And also as always, your description is good and the action scenes are very well done and detailed. If there's a problem I've got here in this chapter, it's the part of subduing and firing instructions Craken gave. It's pretty much pointless given what was said here is pure logic in engagement for both military and law enforcemnt wise, not to mention that you can do the part of subduing and shooting within the action scenes without him saying anything. I've been in the army before and thus, I know the rules of engagement for firearms. Pretty much of the same standard for the police as well. So basically take note of inserting details in your story especially the unnecessary ones. That's the only criticism I can come up with here. Anyway, nothing to comment now. Onto your next update! :)

I've been waiting for the first chapter of this one for a while. I'm glad you posted it! I'm also looking forward to Bloodfest (I think was the name of it, sorry I'm a little hazy today ;)

I'm excited about being able to read your works again, seeing as I haven't had internet access for a week.

Oh, and I have updated Into the Void (finally It takes so long for updates because the recent chapters are so long) and I'll be updating Synthetic Emotions sometime this week. It's the last thing I have planned to update this week.

I've been doing some heavy revising and am going to go through and fix little errors I have and maybe add more description here and there. You know, normal stuff.

At any rate, I've babbled enough. Grand job and update soon!

Well, glad to see a new plot style in this rewrite. But just a suggestion here and that is, maybe you should focus a fixed set of plot for this story of yours. in this way, you can basically complete it before considering any rewrite given that this is the third rewrite for this series if I remember correctly. Anyway, good way of portraying the starting scenes here. It really sets the supense and the ending comment really let the readers wonder what is going on in that guy's head. That being said though, maybe you should focus a bit on the nutcase guy's character at least as in what made him the way he is now. If not, then IMO, the whole ending comment in this chapter will be pointless. Anyway, I can say that of all your TB rewrites, this is by far the best starting chapter. :)

P.S: I'm in the phase of writing a new story, but don't know when it will be up. Anyway, look out for it and hope to see your review for it when that comes! ;)

I was browsing through manga fiction when I noticed an eye-catching summary, a familiar title & an even more familiar name.

I don't have the benefit of reading your previous original works to actually look through your exact style. All I can fall back on are your pieces from Tainted Crimson. But I must say, it is pretty elegant and detailed. Although sometimes your style drags the descriptive nature of the setting & action moves so fast that the reader sees several lapses.

But, most importantly, for a prologue - it hooks the reader. Your stream of consciousness at the end is enough cliffhanger to prepare for the first chapter.