|Reviews for A Mother's Christmas Carol|
| Nature Prince chapter 1 . 1/13/2008
Hehe very funny.
You know, my friend Doug wrote a very funny poem once about his family, each verse being about his mum, dad, seven siblings, four dogs, 6 fish, 13 cats, his four friends (Me being one of them. Michael another.), himself, and his girlfriend...
Lol, he's mad. Are you familiar with the imposible quiz?
I think the person who created it made the big red button too. Ha bloody ha.
| Audy chapter 1 . 12/24/2007
For a five year old, this poem would be very good!
Seriously though, it seems like you've just written whatever was at the top of your head, I can't find anything good in this. The idea of it all is /so/ cliche-but I'll forgive you on that front - the title was more than enough of a warning.
The rhymes are /so/ forced, it's ridiculous. The dog is trying to lay a log? o_o Spare me. Corner and Mortar was probably the best rhyme throughout the entire piece -and that was a slant.
As for punctuation...my dear, you've used so many exclamation points and caps that I feel as though this poem was yelling at me, it's not at all pleasant. Ease up on the exclamations -they're not emphasizing any emotion if the entire piece is littered with them!
The repetition throughout the poem does not serve anything at all to the piece, except to make the word count longer -which is not a good thing in either case.
On the plus side -you did manage to convey the hectic, holiday atmosphere in this...
Nice try, but you can probably do better.