Reviews for Untitled |
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Encore19 chapter 1 . 12/9/2015 What a poor victim... being played again by a manipulator... gosh this is brutal. |
SushiPrincess chapter 1 . 6/1/2014 I'm sorry, but I personaly didn't like this story. Your writing is fine, but I just think that this plot should be used as a full story, not a one-shot |
Crystal114 chapter 1 . 2/9/2014 I swear if he didn't keep that promise... |
Eshi chapter 1 . 3/2/2013 Interesting. I'm always thinking about if romance can happen between a bully and a victim. And the problems they'll face. Cute, sweet fic, feels short and drabble-y. I enjoyed it. Although I am unsure how Troy's promises will stick. (Good name choice by the way, Troy sounds like such an asshole name. _) I'm glad "narrator" has a voice, and doesn't totally except him right away. YUP. That's as literary as my reviews get. WRITE ON! |
Maria chapter 1 . 1/22/2013 Wow... |
NicJean chapter 1 . 6/22/2012 I can't decide whether I love or hate this. Wonderfully written, of course. The language you use to paint such a picture is beautiful. But the ending. I don't know if it's a happy ending or a lie. I wish you would continue it. I want to see what happens the next day at school. What happens with Troy's friends. In any case, beautiful story. Your writing style is a pleasure to read. |
Critiqui chapter 1 . 3/4/2012 This is one of those kinds of stories that doesn't need an absolute ending. Your story needed that mysterious air at the end and it made me think the obvious was going to happen: They'd go right back into the cycle of hate and love. However, after reading some other reviews, I thought, 'Wait, this story could have different ways of ending. They both could actually end up running away or a more tragic event could happen.' This piece of work deserves a good A-plus. P.S. I don't think I saw the victim's name. I found that the tormentor's name was Troy, but never really saw his lover's. I think it'd be good to include that info because when Troy doesn't use his name to address the narrator when they're alone, it feels a little less intimate. Or, Troy could've used a nickname or something that would maybe hint at the narrator's true name. |
AssassinNumber7 chapter 1 . 1/4/2012 aw, cute! love the main character! |
LaurierRusee chapter 1 . 11/13/2011 I like how you played the homosexual and the homophobe together. And I LOVE the fact that you made him very strong willed like, that he sees what is happening to him. |
Kidiu chapter 1 . 1/29/2011 I'm not sure what I think of this. Whether it ended sadly or somewhat happily. It ended rather abruptly, so I'm not sure of what happened afterwords. |
LadyFreeWill chapter 1 . 1/9/2011 Good story. It's romantic and angsty but slightly cheesy. You should work on the cheesy-ness. No one wants their readers to burst out laughing during the supposedly-intense scenes. |
sugarpie-chan chapter 1 . 1/9/2011 oh~! that was so! ... that was so cute! X3 ack! the angst, drama, love~! ... ._. sorry... but it was so beautiful! good job! |
Puncher chapter 1 . 11/2/2010 O! I want to see what happens next, then I don't want to! |
teal duck chapter 1 . 10/24/2010 I wish I could say something about this that you haven't already heard twenty-some times but: beautiful, depressing, irritating and just amazing. GAH! Wish there was more! :( |
theauthor94 chapter 1 . 8/5/2010 omw! I want to read more... if there is more... |