|Reviews for james nathan, i have something to say|
| ByYourSide chapter 9 . 5/10/2009
I probably told you before on this story, but I have a thing for the writing style in Jamies Nathan. In a good way. Very different. Dunno if you did it on purpose, the way certain things don't work grammatically:
“no fucking way, bye, I’m running away, I have..."
The "N" on the "no" should be capitalized. And after the "bye," a comma makes it a run-on sentence, a comma splice. There should be a period or a semi-colon. But maybe you did it on purpose.
I also like the second-person, how she's talking to him. That's the biggest thing for me, and the bite-sized chapters. .
I wonder if he has a power issue. It seems like they both have control issues. He dragged her to the bleachers, she swore in his face. What a cute couple. .
| Trench Coats Suck chapter 21 . 5/9/2009
I just read ur story I really liked it are you gonna do a sequal or right more cause it doesn't feel finished
| iBrandi chapter 21 . 5/7/2009
I think the thing I liked most about the story was the set-up, with the little letters addressing each subject in turn. I haven't seen that very much on fictionpress. Also, her relationship with Chase is pretty adorable. )
One thing I would change is the one-sentence chapters. I can understand why they're necessary for the pacing, and I do like the brevity, but only having one sentence for an entire chapter seems kind of underwhelming.
Anyways, altogether this was a good story, with a unique flair and solid characters. Good job! :D
| lilxseeker chapter 20 . 4/27/2009
this was a nice read!
| lilxseeker chapter 14 . 4/27/2009
hahaha i like this chapter!
| boredsoul34 chapter 20 . 4/27/2009
it was amazing!
| Kneecap chapter 20 . 3/27/2009
That was so moving. I can't..."I’m Gracie Hart, but I’m no longer your Gracie Hart, the girl who changed and then collapsed when asked to do it on her own."
There's nothing I can really say, that was just incredible.
| Kneecap chapter 19 . 3/27/2009
"I think I’m waiting for the day you don’t turn up at all. I’m waiting for the day you decide to just stop coming to calculus, the day you make good on your promise, the day you take control of your future like I never could." - there's something so beautiful about this story.
| Kneecap chapter 18 . 3/27/2009
Realism in this case, is less through what the judge would've done, and more through what Gracie thinks the judge would have done. And you showed that off nicely, so it is realistic :).
"Now, whenever there’s a high school basketball game being played, Chase comes over and sinks basket after basket into the hoop above our garage, and I buy the milkshakes and the curly fries." - that's the saddest line I think I've read so far :(.
| Kneecap chapter 17 . 3/27/2009
She showed events through someone else's perspective :D. I do wonder how she knew what they'd done though...
| Kneecap chapter 16 . 3/27/2009
Extremely telling about Gracie. Again, not her finest moment, and this epitomised that.
| Kneecap chapter 15 . 3/27/2009
Yeah...not Gracie's or Chase's finest hour. The description of the aftermath was really quite disgusting. Dare I say...nicely done?
The strongest image I get from this is honesty. Sometimes she's biased against James Nathan, but she always seems to recount actual events with clemency.
| Kneecap chapter 14 . 3/27/2009
xD, biased. I like it.
| Kneecap chapter 13 . 3/27/2009
"You don’t need to ask who it was, because you know who it was, because it was you." - I love it when you write powerful one liners like that.
I also really liked the dialogue: it captured the moment, and was realistic in every way. Nicely done :).
| Kneecap chapter 12 . 3/27/2009
I'm glad things are finally starting to get explained. I loved the last line, and how you could tell just how Gracie was feeling, and that she doesn't try to paint herself in a flattering light, she's just honest. Ehh, I can't think of anything better to say o_O.