|Reviews for Reality|
| Daen the Emo Bard chapter 1 . 7/8/2008
Well written, though as goddess said, no thing can be wholly true or false. But I digress.
The poem is moving and flows well. As a fan of punctuation, I would like it in this piece, but that is preference and out of the scope of review.
The one thing I did notice was this line "Things to reality can’t be seen" which bugs me from a grammatical standpoint, but only slightly.
All told, I approve both of the sentiment and the writing. Well done.
| Jessie chapter 1 . 4/6/2008
Have you written anything new lately my dear?
| lymli chapter 1 . 4/2/2008
I like the verse 2, it reminds me of when I was a child, all the children are dreamers.
| WormsofCharacter chapter 1 . 3/18/2008
This makes me think of dreaming, and how wrong it feels to wake up when you're so happy. The imagery is so nice. I think the poem might benefit from some puntuation, but on the other hand, slurring it together adds to that dreaminess.
Thanks for reviewing my poem!
| Singing After Dark chapter 1 . 3/11/2008
firstly, Thank you for the review :) I haven't posted in awhile. Second, wow, I was not expecting the sheer beauty of this poem. The rhyme scheme makes it sound like a rap (not a profanity/sex filled one haha). It is devastatingly beautiful that way. I absolutely love it. the message is great. my favorite lines?
"And I want to kiss their eyes
Make them believe the lies"
simply wonderful! added to favorites, hope you don't mind!
| Edgar Wellington chapter 1 . 3/10/2008
Well, all I can do is quote Virginia Woolf:
Atmosphere is to Earth as illusion is to the soul.
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 3/8/2008
the phrasing of the first line seemed a little off, but the rest of that stanza was really wonderful... the simile of the moths and candles has been used before but with that third line you totally made it awesome
powerful imagery of reality overpowering imagination and then going into the next very sweet stanza was really great.. then back to hardened... it was really great
PS If your bored check out the Review Game and its Review Marathon (links in my profile)
| a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 3/6/2008
Reality is overrated.
Why pick a favourite part when it's all so moving and flawless?
| RavenclawMoose chapter 1 . 2/21/2008
This was a beautiful poem. I really liked the lines "And it's more beautiful than anything/ I have ever really seen". It sums up wonderfully why I love dreaming and playing make believe so much.
| mobman chapter 1 . 2/13/2008
amazing, I found the flow awkward at first, but when i re-read it aloud it came to me like "omega" by stone sour. A bouncy yet rough style.
Good job, really painted an abstraction.
| the Stranger in the moonlight chapter 1 . 1/31/2008
This was... well so ture and spectacular and heartwrenching... What child was ever meant to sit inside on a day when the grass is pink and the sky green? Really wonderful job, so sad that hardly anyone understands...
| Her Wishing Well chapter 1 . 1/30/2008
Your style is superb. And the feeling behnd this is intense and raw I loved it. Amazing.
| BellonaFlayreRiver chapter 1 . 1/14/2008
the rythm and flow of this is fantastic. my favorite lines are "heads void and spirits cold/ theyre so young and yet so old." it really hits home for me. lovely.
| Kusje chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
I like this line: 'Like moths to a candlestick/Burnt and hanging from the wick' and the idea of hanging from the wick, is a good idea to put in.
Great job on this. 'Like painting people's faces into stars/brushing away the scars/of their lives lost in realism' took my breath away.
| the face in the window chapter 1 . 12/28/2007
So true. Nice write.