|Reviews for Death of Me|
| drink me pretty chapter 1 . 11/8/2009
"Needing you to live even though/ I know it'll be the death of me" I like that line, the irony of it. And even though that concept has been said about a million times in a thousand different ways, the way you stated it was straight to the point. The rest of the poem is nice, but it was really the last stanza that caught my attention.
| DawnInspire chapter 1 . 7/14/2009
This was really good.
| inkspatters chapter 2 . 12/6/2008
Review Marathon prize!
I love your poetry. I need to put you on alerts, seriously. I loved the rhyming in the second stanza. It worked that once, but if carried all the way through, I think it might have made the piece less powerful. I also really liked how the contrasts in the second stanza, were not direct opposites, it made things more interesting and...poetic? Haha, I'm not much for criticism, but I do try.
| May Elizabeth chapter 2 . 11/21/2008
Both versions were good, but the second one was just wow! Also extremly relatable. Peace.
| wreckless.and.jealous chapter 2 . 7/24/2008
I prefer the scond one... I don't know why. I think it has something to do with the small little blocks of words you give so it's understandable and easily readable.
I also love the infatuation that that person has for the other person. Partially because I have a little infatuation too, but let's not get into that. Hehe.
Anyway... I love the poem, and hope you write more like this.
| Mercyette chapter 1 . 6/4/2008
Here is your review, oh wonderful first place contestant of the Review Marathon! *envious glare* XD
What I liked most about this poem is that you paint a vivid picture of how the person feels about the other, of how she stays with him, despite her obvious pain. It really gives life into your poem. I have to comment that your summary was good for this as well. It helped snag my attention out of *counts on fingers* A LOT of works. ;)
The only thing I can give as far as con crit goes is that it seemed like we only got to hear half of the story in the poem. I know poems aren't typically supposed to go into great detail, but I would have liked to know why his love hurts her so much.
Either way it was a nice poem. Great work!
| Samantha Marie Haven chapter 2 . 3/25/2008
heey, you won the marathon so i will review! :)
nice piece you've got here. it's not real long, but length hardly matters when the poem itself has substance. which yours thankfully does.
it's a bit of a haunting poem-at least that's how i read it-so if that was your intention, good job on getting that across! if not...well, it worked out great either way.
i love the second stanza, when you mix opposites...i guess you could call it an oxymoron...it's some form of that. but yeah, realy great use of comparing opposites, it's definitely the most effective part.
if there was something negative to say, i'd just let you know that it seems a little simplistic. that's not really a bad thing, because the simple ones aren't terrible, but i felt that there was little to really feel. it's not something exquisite that appeals to me personally, but it's really not bad at all.
definietely keep writing, though! i think if you really feel the stuff you write, it'll shine. :)
and that concludes review number one from me.
| Takhisis chapter 1 . 3/24/2008
i like the first part of this poem. Its very poetic.
I don't like the second part of the poem. It doesn't make sense.
Now the third part... Wonderful ending!
| lymli chapter 1 . 3/22/2008
I like the metaphor from the first verse, I think it's true we don't own some things.
the verse 2 is pretty sweet and the last verse to be honest I think it's not fix at all.
| SickButPretty chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
This is my favourite one so far. You definitely evoke how much power a person you love can have over you, and how often they tend to abuse that power. My favourite line is, "My freedom and my chain."
| Sexy Vampirechick chapter 1 . 2/16/2008
I love this 's a wonderful poem...to tell you the truth I prefer the first draft over the edited one...hmm maybe it's just me :) Keep writing!
| HauntedMisery chapter 1 . 2/4/2008
ah, I love this, all your pieces are wonderful ]
| reiphil chapter 1 . 2/4/2008
I know these feelings exactly. Great poem, these are the feelings I always feel. Every second of every day. The whole drug aspect, neediness, yearning to be loved aspect. Hmmph. I know it all too well.
| SnackySnackSnackSnackSnack chapter 1 . 1/28/2008
I like the first one better but both are good.
| lookin4nemo chapter 1 . 1/18/2008
This is my favorite one of all the ones you have written! this is great and keep it up