Reviews for The Disturbing Tales of Madruin, Local Hot-Headed Spaztastic Mage |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Pretty engaging descriptions and action sequence. i think too much was being crammed into one line. a bit tedious to read. 'madruin walked away, never looking away'. it's a little repetitive. because the word 'away' appeared twice in this line. You could experiment with a little humour in this? I think it would be pretty cool to add some in (: |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like this a lot better than chapter one. I'm a little confused about whats going on, however. Is their any real underlining plot or themes too this story? besides that I liked it. Just a few nit-pickings: 1. Madruin walked deeper, deeper into where? 2. knocking unconscious the rest, this should be written knocking the rest of unconscious. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I rather enjoyed. Imagery is stunning! although I think further description of the monsters would be a great improvement. The flow needs some help and it didn't make sense near end, it was still good. Awesome work! |