|Reviews for Pain and Pleasure|
| BlueWitchFire chapter 1 . 5/30/2013
I would like it if you continued this. It's very good and has potential to become a full story.
| DofD chapter 1 . 12/19/2011
Emotion overload. Love it.
| McSarah chapter 1 . 7/20/2009
i liked this story. Some people may not like the fact that your heroine was easily forgiving and understanding, but that is the way you created her. Just a few grammar mistakes, but nothing too major. Keep up the good work.
| chanilow chapter 1 . 2/7/2009
Kind of weird :)
| Pixie in a Birdcage chapter 1 . 11/10/2008
I'm sorry, but that wasn't realistic at all. She's being raped and all she can think to herself is "This is downright disrespectful!" How about humiliating, demeaning, a complete violation of a woman's right to choose who she fucks? Yet she doesn't seem to care that she didn't give this man her consent, she's just concerned with the fact that this man is a stranger. Would she feel more comfortable if her father were doing it? Perhaps. She seemed to feel a lot better after she simply closed her eyes and started fantasizing. The fact that he was showing her, not telling her, how completely insignificant her feelings, desires, and being as a whole were in comparison to his need to get off doesn't seem to phase her in the least. Do you really think that being attacked by a boy you love would dull the pain of rape? I'd think it would intensify it, make one feel betrayed as well as worthless. The woman would never be able to trust another man in her life! However, the rapist seems to have the right idea about this. What he did *was* inexcusable. Unless someone was holding a gun to his or her head, he had no excuse for touching her. Yet the heroine doesn't seem to catch on to this. She doesn't even seem to comprehend the difference between rape and sex. It leaves me to wonder if the author can tell the difference either.
| Who-Says-I-Can't-Use-A-Skillet chapter 1 . 9/25/2008
More, more more!
I love this, very well written.
I want a Neil :(
| HolyStarDown chapter 1 . 1/24/2008
Oh my gosh that was so good!
The passion and wording of this story is unbelievable
Really, there are no words good enough for it!
| Sweet Child chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
I think you should make another chapter.
Though the situation wasn't completely realistic, the characters were absolutely beautiful. It's visible how much effort you put into them. The fact that the scenario wasn't so real, doesn't matter, though. Fiction doesn't have to be real. It has to entertain and touch people.
So, please do continue with this.
| outsidersgirl chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
i though it was good
| Queen of Absolutely Everything chapter 1 . 1/3/2008
The idea behind this story is interesting and complex, and it definitely has potential. Unfortunately, you've left it a bit under-developed and unrealistic. You've skipped over parts where you really should've elaborated more-like the parents. If my child were kidnapped and raped by some guy from her school, I don't think that I'd let myself be won over so easily. Don't get me wrong, because you do make it seem as though they put up a fight, but there really isn't much conversation or explanation of how she wins them over. I would either suggest expanding on this (like involving them in scenes where she talks about the two boys) or leaving out the parents entirely somehow.
In general, the entire plot comes off as being too easy. I mean, this girl must be pretty extraordinary to survive rape, forgive her rapist, save her rapist from suicide, and convince her parents to be on her side with her rapist against her older brother all in what seems like a very short amount of time. Again, it wasn't your writing that made it difficult to believe, it was just that there wasn't enough time for the reader to process what's going on, and so it seems rushed. I could definitely see this one-shot deal being expanded upon over three chapters, at the very least (one for the initial confrontation, repeats of that scene, talking to parents; one for the rape and the note; and then one for the attempt a suicide and convincing the parents). You need to develop the situation more, convince the reader to sympathize with Roxanne, and show some more believable human emotions in all the characters-not that it wasn't there, but it needs to be a little less convenient.
I think that once you get over the abruptness of it all, this is a very decent piece of writing, and you should be proud of it. Your ideas are interesting and solid, and your grammar is excellent (surprisingly, a rare find on fictionpress). I would love to see you continue this, but it definitely needs a bit of work. Feel free to drop me a line if you had any questions about what I suggested, or if I was being too harsh (sorry about that). Don't get discouraged, though-I think you'll do a fantastic job!
| Tobyk947 chapter 1 . 1/3/2008
Wow. It's amazing! I love it so much! Please, do write more. I just love when an author uses unusal names. Like, Neil... the only Neil I know is the husband in Santa Claus. Not Scot, the guy who married his ex wife and wears the creepy sweaters. THat one.
| sillygoose2008 chapter 1 . 1/3/2008
i liked it cherry144 it's different from the rest of the ones i have read and i find the story really interesting please don't abandoned it i would be heart broken if you did. so i beg you to update the next chapter when you are ready and done o.k.