This actually helped me. I'll keep it in mind. :)

Oh my god. THANL YOU! I've realised that I should read over my work at least 3 times. :) This was also very amusing to read.

If half the stories on FictionPress were as engaging and hilarious as your commentary ON these stories, why, the world would be a better place. (Though of course my world involves a lot of sub-par internet writing.)

Truly though, this is great! YOU are great.

Well are romance novels the olnly type of stories on earth?

Thank you! I like that you point out some of the things that keep bothering me and make not want to read a potentially good story. I will admit I definitely make some of those errors, but I try to fix them and this is a good reference.

THIS! Although one other thing deserves its Own category:

definitely vs defiantly

I don't even... This sounds cruel but I think you must be a little bit dyslexic if you think definitely is spelt 'defiantly'.

That is my biggest pet peeve. But anyway I think fictionpress should have this as a compulsory read before you write anything

Thank you, thank you very much for teaching me the arts of making a good story. I've realized that most of my stories are extremely dull and my grammar sucks but anyway, this...guide has given me a lot of information and is making try harder to improve my stories. Thank you. :')

I absolutely agree with this. While scanning through this site for quality fiction (thought-out plots, interesting characters, and appropriate grammar), I was beginning to believe that there were none! Then I stumbled upon a community of romance fiction. There wee a few bad apples, but through that community, I was able to find your story, 'Opposite Ends of the Spectrum', which inadvertently led me to this helpful rant. I kept wondering, "what will attract fictionpress users to my stories? Is it teeny romance? A daring, adventure fantasy?" I think I've come to a conclusion thanks to reading this: People want to read stories that follow a kind of "fanfiction" format because: 1.) You are your own editor and publisher, 2.) What I like goes! Sadly, this is the reality, however, I do appreciate authors like you. I will be dropping a review for your story, but my thoughts on it is better saved for the end. :)

Hey there,

I completely agree with this 110%. It is most definitely true that a lot of authors make grammatical errors and spelling errors with the worst being (in my opinion) those who cannot properly write a story. Over-description is a another huge problem with some writers. I tend to get very annoyed when I read a story that is not up to par with the standards you mentioned.

Another thing I also find most disruptive is speech, and when to use a new line. The fact that we need to use a new line for a new speaker is not hard to comprehend! It makes reading that much easier, especially when we are trying to decipher which character is saying what! Do you agree with this? I only mention this becuase you didn't include it in your rant.

Anyway, I love your work and will be checking out your favourites list.

Cheers,
TQL

P.S. sorry for my long rant!

Reading your post is interesting and I laughing a lot, thanks for pointing out my own stupidity. But see, English considered the lesser evil of the two when:
A) Mandarin is the world's most used language, the 2nd is English. (Based on statistics of course ;) ) And you know nothing at all about Mandarin.
B) You want the reader from all around the world, not limited only from your original country that using their mother language, despite grammatical errors and all. Such as myself.

Personally I think that since this made for unprofessional writer (regardless whether they want to be professional or not, or actually being professional starting here), we are allowed to make as many mistakes as there's no other people willing to right the wrong. Not many willing to be beta reader, even lesser still, qualified beta reader.
Have a good day,
Sincerely,
Gali-o-

I think I'm in love with you.

Seriously though, you actually do have the essence of a great writer. I mean, with your brutally honest summary of your deceit and your just as witty and amusing title, I somehow wanted to read this... Huh.
..Or I'm just really bored. Or tired. Or maybe both. Or- I need some sleep...

Anyways, here's a thank you from me - the perfectionist, grammar-nazi, critical bitch, who takes the English language in a scarily serious way.

THANK YOU !
If only you knew how much I waited for somebody to tell loud what every songle reader older than an elementary student thinks low... All you said is right, especially about the love clichés : fall in love at first sight, all the tatoo stuff... Love since the childhood too... It makes me want to never go back on this website again...
I had a lot of fun reading it, thank you!
Lily

Thanks for the tips! I've been dying to write a fiction story but I kept thinking I'm not 'professional' enough. Anyways, I'll make sure I download a thesaurus first before I write my first story.

I LOVE this! The two things that I despise the most are when people go into super detail about what the characters are wearing, and when they describe down to the freaking freckle behind their ear what they look like. Maybe that freckle winds up being important, but can we please skip talking about it in the very first paragraph when it's not relevant? I always try to sprinkle physical descriptions throughout the story, and I very rarely talk about what clothes they're wearing, unless clothes are important to the character or the plot. But I think it's important to let the reader conjure up their own image of who they're reading about.

"So I was on my way to visit my friend. I had blue eyes and blonde hair, a pale complexion and a round facial structure. Then I arrived at my friends house and we played video games."

That sentence right there made my day. Seriously. I ACTUALLY laughed out loud.

This is without a doubt the most honest, awesome thing I've seen anyone post on this site. Good on you, because I am getting shitty as hell about all the disgusting grammar and vocabulary all over it. And I feel sufficiently reprimanded about my procrastination with regard to my own stories, which is admittedly beyond horrific. THANK YOU for uploading something that was truly a pleasure to read.