|Reviews for Someone's freedom|
| Ty-Die chapter 1 . 2/12/2008
i like this one a lot. it's familiar.
| OneLastEndeavor chapter 1 . 2/2/2008
Some grammar issues I think that have already been addressed in other reviews.
I LOVE the last two lines.
I'm a bit confused on the meaning of the poem. Care to explain it to me?
| Arina222 chapter 1 . 1/9/2008
I like your ending. Leaves(the correct plural of leaf) not leafs, unless you had some ulterior meaning that I misunderstood or missed completely. I like the one person arguement. The suttle implications are nice, but the grammar could be improved. I'm not sure if you'll appreciate it or not, but here's a list of your percieved errors and my version of a correction:
Leaves, not leafs
2nd line - changed, not change; you may want to take out the "the", it isn't necessary; comma would be good at the end
4th, 6th, 8th lines - need commas at the end
7th line - you could take out the "that was", your meaning would still be clear, but the old "hit you in the head" sort of thing
9th line and 11th line- needs a period at the end
This section is unclear, and if you clarified it, it would emphasize your amazing ending even more: "Sunlights piercing the clouds" it could be: Sunbeams pierce the clouds, or Sunlight pierces the clouds. Those would both make more sense. If I've missed any point or a reason for your phrasing which I took for a mistake, please tell me.
My favorite part was the last line, very lasting indeed.
| XxXKristie MarieXxX chapter 1 . 1/7/2008
Nice Job, i really liked it. Keep it up!
| sleeplessblue chapter 1 . 1/4/2008
aw, that was beautiful