I love your story. I use to read stories on quizilla all the
time when I was younger..

What? No endjng? ? I SPENT 4 HOURS READING THIS

I cannot tell you how many times I have reread this story. It is honestly one of my two favorite books, if not THE favorite of all time. I love this. I love this. I love this. I am so much like Audrina it hurts and I can only pray I get a Lucian one day who can tolerate me as perfectly as Loosh does Dray :) :) :)
Now please excuse me whilst I go sob an ocean.

See, I might read this, but you seem to be incapable of using contractions correctly. Sorry if that sounds mean; it's not meant to be! .

where is the rest of the story

it ends at 38 and starts again at 56 and then goes to 60

I miss this story terribly. :(

I remember reading this on quizilla quite a long time ago.

It was rather brilliant, altho i was quite young when I read it. I never got to the end of it though, cant quite remember why, so im looking forward to you finishing this on here!

Keep it up and get it all rolling out!

I ADORE this story. I think You're a very talented writer and I'd love to read the new version once it comes out. I'm counting down haha ;D

Having said that, It makes sense for them to have a 2 year time frame to have to marry as in until 18 but perhaps in the next version they could be older. I'm just saying this because having been a 16 year old girl, I have never met any guy my age who is experienced, and doesn't have the maturity level of a nine year old.

I'm just throwing ideas here, but what if she was say 19 and she had to get married before 21? In my opinion making the characters a bit older would be more realistic and those three years would do so much. Teenage years are like dog years. So much maturity and growth can happen in one year.

I wish you so much luck with the upcoming project!

I love it cant wait for the next chapter

Alrighty then; let me start off by putting it on the record that as I write this review now, forty chapters have been posted, though only thirty-eight of them are actual chapters of the story. This review obviously does not pertain to chapters posted after that point.

RATING;

A.

PROS;

The characters are very easy to relate to, and their personalities all vary, unlike many stories, in which all of the characters are basically the same person with a different name.

There are many genuinely amusing moments in this story, and one cannot read even two chapters without laughing, I've found. There are multiple witty comments that I find myself plotting to use in conversation later, and it is very evident that there is true inspiration behind the words in these chapters.

This comment is purely personal, not professional at all, but I just wanted to say that I admire the fact that while the main character is shorter than five feet, every other character in the story isn't as well. Being five feet eleven myself, I found it very refreshing that I wouldn't have been taller than every character in the book, as per usual when the main character is so short. On a professional note, however, it does take great skill to have a character with such a drastic trait (in this situation, her small height) still be utterly relate-able for a reader who possesses an equally drastic, but opposite character trait. Props to you on that.

There may be millions of Arranged Marriage romance stories out there, but this one is certainly unique. The plot line isn't drastically different than your average Arranged Marriage romance, but it certainly has its differences. And, when it comes to the parts of the plot line that aren't unique, one has to admit that they are still highly entertaining, and have enough unique qualities to make you wonder whether or not you're reading a genre that has been written about before.

As this story was written for use on Quizilla, I will not list the use of second person point of view as a con. I have used Quizilla as well; I completely understand that the majority of stories years ago used the second person point of view, and I understand that they did mainly because it was set up in a quiz-like style. That being said, I am not, nor have I ever been, a fan of second person point of view. In this particular story, however, I can say in all honesty that I didn't even notice the point of view until I really looked for it. It takes a great deal of skill to actually write well enough for the reader to overlook something that is usually a pet peeve to them.

CONS;

There are minor mistakes in spelling, grammar, and punctuation; however, this is to be completely expected, and as they are far and few between, this is well forgiven.

There are a few sections that I found myself wanting to skim through, and other parts that I found myself rereading and wishing there were more details. Simply put; the amount of detailing seems to be slightly unbalanced in parts.

The two main characters, Lucian and Dray, appeared to fall for each other a tad too quickly. Well, entirely too quickly, but a tad too quickly than what would have been deemed acceptable, in my opinion. While I understand that it was meant to be that way, and I am grateful that they didn't run into one another's arms and confess their love on the first day, it would have been preferable to have a few more chapters of the pair not enjoying one another's company quite so much. One would simply assume that Lucian's walls, having been built so carefully high for such a long time, would be harder to break down.

It is true that Dray's eating habits couldn't possibly keep her healthy for long, as macaroni and cheese for literally every meal, save that one sunrise breakfast picnic, does not supply the necessary vitamins and minerals, not to mention protein, that she would need. However, what a character eats throughout a story, and whether or not it is sufficient, isn't really something to nitpick about. After all, it does make for an interesting character trait.

IN SUMMARY;

This is honestly one of the most refreshing stories that I have read here on . Obviously there is always room for improvements, but when it came down to reviewing this, I found myself having to think very hard to come up with cons. And, when I did come up with cons to list, they still ended up being insignificant nitpicks. Overall, it really is a wonderful story that you have going here, and it is remarkably unique for a story in such a popular genre. I don't give out 'A's often at all, but you certainly deserved one. Congrats.

there is no way anyone can survive on just the things she eats..

I LOVE IT!

the first thing i did was freak out cause i thought you were plagerizing.

then i realized you were ladiix3?

yo...its me...lol...no its wildcrazylover from quizilla...just droping by..to say i still love your story and all...and keep it up and ill still read your story...

I love this story...so much! I even love it in 2nd person! Good luck with the revamp!