|Reviews for We had our eyes closed and our fingers open|
| fairies and snapple chapter 1 . 9/13/2009
Again, this is really beautiful. It's just- I don't know. Something in... something. Yes. That. The first stanza is my favorite, I think. But I like all of it.
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 7/21/2009
This is raw and beautiful.
| Joyful Girl in the Mirror chapter 1 . 7/7/2009
I know you said this wasn't your best, but I'm such a terrible romantic. I think it was incredibly sweet and a little sad. My favorite line, of course, is "my tongue was an eraser that made her forget all my mistakes."
| Ernest Bloom chapter 1 . 2/6/2009
maybe thou _art_ art.
maybe more present/active voice, as
'she told me i have canvas hands'
'my lips are stamps'
| gg. lass chapter 1 . 5/24/2008
this is beautiful.
yours until the wind changes,
| Violet Marx chapter 1 . 1/13/2008
OK, so before I get to the poem, let's skip to the author's note. First I frowned because I was all "Um...what pun?" But then I burst into a big big smile, because it just makes my day when someone dedicates something to me (even when it's just kind of sort of dedicated) and of course when someone writes something inspired by me. (Someone once wrote a poem inspired by "Trey", which I thought was funny because "Trey" was inspired by "Chris".
Oh, also, what did you mean by "Three guesses which two I have actually been told"?
I can tell that this is not your best poem, although it's still good. It's most definitely one of those describing, metaphor-filled poem which everyone needs to write down once and a while to get a load off their shoulders.
I especially like:
"my tongue was an eraser that made her forget all my mistakes."
But I don't understand why you repeated "when I opened my eyes".
"we were paintings facing the walls"
I don't get this. Do you mean that the side with the painted picture is facing the wall so you can't see it? And if so, I don't think "in separate rooms" is really necessary.
But I think the title is great, and I always love to see some more of your stuff!
| creepy kiss on tuesday chapter 1 . 1/13/2008
I think maybe this gave too much away, like when you wrote " I said it like/ it was dark". It was very straight forward, but I like the idea of it.