Reviews for Take My Pain Away
Emitti chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
:) Great Story .. it really Has The poetic Feeling and you can pretty much Feel the pain and the trust :P
mate.feed.kill.repeat chapter 1 . 7/15/2009
[review game]

To be totally honest, this piece really bored me. The way the lines are set up is just so tedious. The rhythm is plain, almost to the point that there really isn't much of a rhythm at all. Some of the lines just don't fit-they don't read smoothly and therefore feel really awkward.

The descriptions seemed too general, which made them bland. There wasn't enough to connect to, which made it hard to get into this piece and enjoy it.

I'm sorry that I am such a downer, but I'd rather give you an honest review than something dishonest and useless.

wonderland called chapter 1 . 1/27/2009
like the other piece i reviewed of yours i like the idea, but the semi-rhyming doesn't sit to well with me. but that's mostly just a personal style thing that i'm not a fan of.

i'm sure many can relate to this - the feelings, etc. and you conveyed those feelings and such nicely. chapter 1 . 1/27/2009
I really like this alot. It makes you think about things most tend to not want to think about and so I praise you for writting it!
Lilacs.on.a.fence chapter 1 . 1/27/2009
OMG! I loved that, you did such a good job!

I know i say it a lot...but WELL WELL DONE!
Little girl Big world chapter 1 . 11/2/2008
at the beginning this seemed very sweet and happy but it slowly got darker. it was very interesting this wasn't what i was expecting from this...still wow it is really good, very deep. It makes me feel bad for this character they were in love and were taken advantage of by the one person that they thought they could trust...its really sad.
Fragile Things chapter 1 . 9/29/2008
depressing with nice rhyme. honestly, it could have been more poetic but i think u made it more real by using a colloquial tone in this.
instantramen chapter 1 . 6/11/2008
Very sad and a little heart wrenching, though I have to agree there's a couple parts where the flow is off a bit but it doesn't really take away from the poem too much, overall pretty awesome.
dragonqueenc chapter 1 . 6/6/2008
T_T! Wow, is this real? It so sad and yet so amazingly right. This is how our trust is crushed and is hard to rebuild.
AK the Twilight chapter 1 . 6/5/2008
I personally couldn't really pinpoint where this poem was going until the end. At first it felt rather angry, angry at this other person for causing the pain. But at the end, it developed a sense of comfort; the person who seemed to cause the pain is the one who would take it away, which is an odd idea to say the least.

Aside from some minor meter problems (some lines didn't have a consistent rhythm), this really felt original and to a degree "heartfelt." Keep up the great work.
Starfire17 chapter 1 . 5/28/2008
This is very sad. Its a very good poem as its so emotive and still tells its story. Very good work
lymli chapter 1 . 5/25/2008
it's as if there's a story in this, it's kinda interesting, my favorite part is: You used to tell me things

That I’ll never forget
MacNWoody chapter 1 . 4/5/2008
hey, its Morgan, _...been awhile since I've reviewed your work, haha

I liked this poem...its really sad. but you are able to paint some really powerful images through simple words...good work!
Elegantly Lovelyy chapter 1 . 1/17/2008

purple x pen chapter 1 . 1/15/2008
this is really sad, i cant personally relate, but its good all the same )
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