Reviews for The Mark of Thorn: Book of Scars
Juni chapter 28 . 3/9/2008
D Dahling Im frankly madly in love with you right now! 6 chapters in barely a week! Oh do keep them coming :)
Pen'NInk chapter 28 . 3/9/2008
I was delighted by chapter 27 and 28-they pleasantly contrast the hasty pace of the previous chapters. You’re using a lot of unique phrasing in these two chapters, building emotive tension, and hunkering down for the long haul in this novel (novella?).

Despite my bias for Hendrik, I really do enjoy reading about the relationship that Cornelia (who, I believe, quite possibly might be the beauty from ‘Beauty and the Beast’) and Gabriel have. You’re taking your time with it, letting it develop slowly and naturally, gently. It feels… very beautiful, and I’m keen on seeing you expand its plot.

In contrast (fabulous contrast!), Hendrik and Cornelia are everything that she and Gabriel are not: rushed, hot, violent, and wondrously dark. Quite honestly, they remind me of the true Grimm’s fairy tales before they were unfortunately censored. However, I digress. My point was that you’re using the technique parallelism exquisitely!

A few much loved lines were:

"'Two guns,' the demi-human confirmed finally, looking back to his toys. 'They are a fine pair. Truly, just as fine as the pair Cornelia has.'" (28)

"'I liked the other way better,' he said." (28)

"...he was not a lapdog." (28)

Now, in a completely unrelated thread, I've been working a manuscript about a writer, a Fablist, who writes modern-day fairy tales. The chapters alternate from focusing on him in the present tense, to his writings. I've recently been writing a fairy tale for this project involving the 12 months as characters, six men, six women. With you being a solid writer with a good mind for characterization and stylistics, I feel compelled to as your personal opinion: Would February be a man or a woman?


Pen'NInk chapter 24 . 3/9/2008
Ahh, lovely! I'm pleased with the changes in chapter 15-it really does make the world of difference, just a few tweaks here and there.

My complaints with the most recent chapters, unfortunately, aren’t quite as specific as I'd like to give you. The issue that I had with a few sections, usually the fight sections, were that they moved too fast-and not in a good way. Usually high-tension fights scenes do move quickly, but there were times that it felt like you were rushing, that you should've lingered a little more here and there. These sections didn’t have the meticulous, precise air that your work normally has and, to be frank, I merely skimmed them for information instead of lingering to enjoy your use of language as I normally do.

Also, while I adored your descriptions of Hendrik and Cornelia within the last three chapters, the paragraphs concerning Diego left me a little wanting... It seemed forced, somehow. I understand that our beloved cat is a comical creature and while I appreciated a few of the humorous jabs, it felt overdone as a whole. (In your more recently posted chapters-which I have yet to review-you remedied the situation by allowing Diego to be charming, catty, humorous, ect., just through dialogue and character interaction. That seems to work better for you than using tiny bits of information that are out of context with the surrounding paragraphs.)

On a brighter note, I was rather fond of the end fight scene and the way chapter 25 closed.

Hope this helps and, as always, I apologize for any offense in this critique.
nefarious nature chapter 28 . 3/8/2008
Great chapter! I loved the scene where Cornelia teased Hendrik with a flash of skin. Very funny! It even tricked me. I just love the interactions between those two. Now what does Cornelia need to inform Hendrik about? A repayment? I wonder... Oh and thanks for the e-mail. I sent you one too!
Satar chapter 28 . 3/8/2008
im still unsure about diego's character, its obvious hes not completely honest about his reasons to help out cornelia. he has certianly manipulated cornelia to his benefit to get hendrik off his back for now anyway, if he didnt join them hendrik was sure to kill him off,i think a rather smart move on his part.i find it pretty amusing that cornelia seems to find so many attractive, theres so much sexual tension..poor diego must feel left out.
cookymonster chapter 27 . 3/8/2008
i love how fast you keep uploading.
nefarious nature chapter 26 . 3/7/2008
Hey, can I be the VP of the Hendrik fan club? I promise that I will fulfill all of my VP duties! Scout's honor!...Anyway, thanks for the super duper quick and awesome update. I was wondering if there are any books that you could recommend that are similar to your stories (dark fantacies) besides the Grimm stories? Thanks, you're an awesome possum!
Satar chapter 26 . 3/7/2008
the dream sequence was definitely foreshadowing future chapters, im thinking that hendrik will finally loose control of the beast for good and go all crazy, though im super curious as to what his past is, everyone else's has sort of been eluded too except his, and well diego too, but he seems to be more of a secondary character, there isnt much spotlight on him other then being hendriks target.
Pen'NInk chapter 25 . 3/7/2008
Terribly sorry for not reviewing more, darling. Been ridiculously busy lately!

These last few chapters have been thoroughly enjoyable. You're leaving subtle, but intriguing, clues to each of your characters' histories. It's really quite lovely to watch unfold, particularly Hendrik's and Cornelia's stories (which, by the way, are beautiful works in themselves, wonderfully dark and poetic and sensual, quite bold really).

There were a few lines I had issues with, perhaps the most prominent of which was, in chapter 23 (?), where you referred to Diego as "the booted one." While it was comical and I could understand why you used the phrase, with the context and tone of the surrounding paragraphs, it was just out of place.

Love reading your work, dear! Hope you're doing well.

nefarious nature chapter 25 . 3/6/2008
I was mistaken. Hendrik is not the Big Bad Wolf, he is Superman! Seriously, I had this image of him grabbing hold of the squid-like plant and flinging it around as if it was nothing! Boy, and aren't you on a roll. An update everyday so far for the past few days. Thanks so much for updating so frequently! And as a bonus, the chapter was twice as long as usual! P.S. Sorry for all of the exclamation marks! :)
WCMW chapter 1 . 3/6/2008
I hadn't even finished book 1 yet, however I felt compelled to write a review on what I had read, and wow...all I can say is I've finally found the author I've been looking for on this site. I'm completely intrigued, and excited to continue reading your work. I just felt the need to say this before I finish, but...your words flow wonderfully, and with most of the stories I've read on here this one stands out among the rest. You're poetic without bombarding us with complicated rhetoric that does nothing but hide the fact that there's no plot. I think I will be checking back constantly for your updates.

nefarious nature chapter 24 . 3/5/2008
I was delighted to find another update the very next day! And what a great update it was! So, Cornelia is Belle from Beauty and the Beast! She just has to be. Okay, so let me get this straight: Diego is Puss n' Boots, Gabriel is the prince from Rapunzel, Hendrik is the Big Bad Wolf from Riding Hood, and Cornelia is Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Interesting...very interesting. And what did Diego just realize?
H.A. Blair chapter 24 . 3/5/2008
Wow... Okay, from this chapter I think it's safe to say Cornelia is from Beauty and the Beast or some story similar to it. And this story is still amazing, still holding my interest and making me beg for more. Every time I get the chapter alert I start smiling. Keep up the great work!
Satar chapter 24 . 3/5/2008
hendrik is now officially my favorite character of this story! He's a very complicated character. so cornelia is from beauty and the beast...honestly didn't see that coming.. though her past must of been very horrible the beast was certainly nothing like the disney one!
nefarious nature chapter 23 . 3/4/2008
Great dog and cat chase! :) I used to dislike Hendrik but now I am liking him more and more! And once again, great imagery, "Blood rushed out like juice from a ripe fruit, drenching his fur." I just love that line. Thanks for the quick update! Can't wait until the next chapter!
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