Reviews for chasing the sunset
persephone in waiting chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
I rarely review anything, because I'm awful that way. But this is really beautiful. I love the imagery, the birds metaphor.. "two is the most beautiful number" is such a subtle but powerful and, of course, beautiful line. Also, I love how it ends with the repetition of, "We could fall in love."

Lovely work, as usual.
frustrated wIERD writer chapter 1 . 4/15/2009
great poem, sad you didnt fall in love though, i wish you couldve fallen in love.. :(
daniellegypt chapter 1 . 12/7/2008
your like e.e. cummings.

but i'd rather read you.

your poems are truly beautiful.
franticsquirrel chapter 1 . 5/17/2008
this is beautiful.

it might be odd to ask a question in a review but- I'm wondering does the ending kind of imply the authors note already? where it is an external declaration willing it to happen rather than just being the excitement of it happening, kind of the quiet cry AH!almost! that seems to happen so often in life- or,

is the ending just the opening of the possibility of the beauty described in the rest of the poem?

it's good either way, I'm just wondering how you meant it.
Tytherpol chapter 1 . 5/17/2008
this is a really pretty poem.

it's strong.
ilovetheopera chapter 1 . 4/4/2008
"following the sun/with the sun always on our faces"- i like these two lines, and the last verse very much. but then everything else seems normal in comparison except for your author's note which reeks of a revelation.
i'd delete this if possible chapter 1 . 3/4/2008
the author's note kills me. but I understand that feeling and the regret that comes after it- that idealistic, beautiful possibility and then the cold, empty reality that comes afterward. you really captured the beauty of the hope of a lasting relationship very well.
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 2/29/2008
Pretty poem. I love "two is the most beautiful number," and the last two lines are heartbreaking. Really gorgeous work. Nicely done. Keep writing! :)
smile for the sunshine chapter 1 . 2/24/2008
the author's note made me sad. the poem was so hopeful, the poem was so beautiful...and then it wasn't reality. fairytales can be sad sometimes. [

only suggestion: maybe make the lines "with the sun always on our faces/two is the most beautiful number." their own stanza. it might be stronger that way.

but everything was great. such a cute story...haven't heard about lockets in awhile. i still have one though. lol

ps. here with the review marathon. check the link out on my profile if you're interested.
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 2/7/2008
"We could fall in love."

It completely prevents the poem from being sappy or cliché. In earlier stanzas, the reader can't really tell where the thoughts are going, but the last two lines add melancholy and poignancy. Beautiful.
having reached closure chapter 1 . 2/4/2008
chelbs

beautiful.

its weird to be back on here.

love you
multiples of six chapter 1 . 1/24/2008
Beautiful, as always. I think the third stanza is my favourite..
sweden chapter 1 . 1/23/2008
this is beautiful. i liked the imagery, it looks like it's heavily influenced by surreal paintings and dreams.
Aquafied chapter 1 . 1/21/2008
i think love is a rare moment you can only share with some people.

maybe it ends

most likely it ends

but maybe it wont.
Kicking Poe chapter 1 . 1/20/2008
I love the ending repetition and the answering author's note. the whole poem toes the line between hopeful and melancholy...nice. cheers.
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