|Reviews for star crossed|
| alineofprose chapter 1 . 3/17/2008
I'm no poetry buff (who am I kidding? I can barely stand the stuff) but this is gorgeous. [That may or may not be why I like it.]
Superbly crafted, like all of your work, but this is so lovely and eloquent and gahh. I'm gushing.
I'd state every single word, every line, every stanza I adore but that seems rather redundant.
...Doesn't happy poetry make everyone gag?
| Little One chapter 1 . 2/8/2008
Story of my romantic life right now. Great stuff. Certain lines are definitely quotable. Oh the passion they could have experienced, the greatness they could have known had the prospect of it not overwhelmed them from the beginning.
| Georgiana chapter 1 . 1/26/2008
It's kind of confusing at times, but it gives after-thought and is a nicely dynamic piece.
And I love the last line and all that it implicates.
| Anz Pineapple chapter 1 . 1/26/2008
What do you mean this pretty much sucks? It's excellent. I love your poetry.
| luv me like no other chapter 1 . 1/24/2008
i love the last stanza and the last line. sad poetry is cool. the words riptide, flown and sweep were great imagery/metaphors? lol
| Secret Heart01 chapter 1 . 1/22/2008
There are some good lines and sections, but some parts are too wordy for a poem ... to me, poetry is more about what is left unsaid, so some 'scenes' could be made more subtle.
Also, the way you cut the lines, for example 3rd and 5th stanzas, is too abrupt. "he noticed / her" - cutting lines abruptly is effective for stress, but if you do it too much, it breaks the rhythm of the piece.
Did you try to read the piece aloud? That helps in shaping the form of the poem ...
Anyway hope that helps - hope I'm not being overly critical, but I love poetry insanely. You shouldn't hate it actually; have you ever read Pablo Neruda? Your subject matter could semi-relate to Neruda's style/subjects...