|Reviews for Endless|
| Mirrors Lie chapter 1 . 12/15/2008
Its good for a first story. I kind of got lost, its a little confusing. It could use more there anyway you could add more?
| MarsMonster chapter 1 . 10/15/2008
that was crazay! lol!
| Vector Phantom chapter 1 . 8/3/2008
Well this was strange and random, but I liked it.
It reminds me of Alice in Wonderland.
| azy07y chapter 1 . 7/4/2008
Well, it's very interesting, and I also have very strange dreams like this. I suggest that you shorten your sentences a bit, and be a little more narrative. For instance, instead of "I was in an orphanage but somehow I wasn't surprise and I didn't care for some reason I knew everything about it," you could something like, "Looking around me, I realized that I was in an orphanage. Somehow, I wasn't surprised, and I didn't care. For some reason, I knew everything about this place." It makes the story flow a little better. Also, instead of saying 'then...' when going to a new topic, you could separate it with line breaks. Great job!
| Bandfan234 chapter 1 . 6/26/2008
Nice! I personally liked the first part of your dream the best. Have you considered turning that into an actual, in depth story? It was just so interesting! There were a lot of places where you put comaa, and you probably should've used periods to prevent run on sentences. But really, the whole thing was fascinating! You have really cool dreams! :)
| dyslexic.poet chapter 1 . 2/23/2008
Wow! I LOVE this! It's so...whimsical, I guess That last part gave me the chills. Just be careful about grammar, although in this case, I think run-on sentences are quite appropriate! Too bad all your other fics are in spanish T-T
Keep on writing! XD
PS. Thanks SO much for reviewing "Breathe"! Made me smile! :D