hehe hello!_ I just read your story and it's amazing... I never believed I could find such good story here on FictionPress but I guess I was lucky!

Well concerning the story... I would like to make some guesses... I was wondering if the words "duse vymena" have been just something you made up because if I made some slight changes and made "výměna duše" it would mean something really interesting in my laguage (Czech)... then it wouldn't be hard to figure out the rest of the plot... and then to ensure that Adrianne stayed silent I would probably add the ring on "her" finger... hm... I guess that would be kind of smart move for Jasperian... but then again what good could Adrianne do for him in the state she is in if I'm right? anad it would be really harsh to do something like that to her...:( and poor Timar... but it would probably be better than being dead...hm... hm...

well anyway I really apologize if I'm sounding like idiot but I was trying not to spoil it to others if I was right... really hard thing to do...O_o

P.S. it took me three minutes to figure out why I was staring at those two words so if I'm not right you owe me three whole minutes of my life!:P

P.P.S. I would like to make one other wild guess... I was wondering if Gareth and Hait had something in common... like being one person? I was wondering about it for a while now... it just seems like a twist to plot I would expect... or something like that..._

Haha, I like your little notes in the beginning :) But I suspect that it will not mean well for Arnae.

So Arnae is not the only one with a weapon.

Alright, this is a little confusing. One second they are looking at an inscription on the handle of the door and arguing with Branic that it is too there and the next they are just walking through it? First off I am guessing Branic wasn't able to see the entire door, not just the handle (which is what I was getting)? Then did they "open" this magical door? If so, you never said anything. If they just walked right through the door, while it was closed...But if it was a magical door that the two girls could see, but not Branic and they opened it, but since he couldn't see it he only saw wall and it seemed like they were going through the wall when it was actually a magic door, then that would make a bit more sense. And I'm guessing that is what you were trying to say? And it does seem a little sudden when there has been no hint in "magic" before, so it might be something not a lot know about, which then would surely cause some kind of reaction out of her/them. Branic suggesting it being a trick of the light is a right step in that direction. He's trying to find some explanation. And of course the question arises why they can see it and not him?

The Sylvian Outlaws remind me a bit of Robin Hood. At least after watching a few seasons, I would picture it that way. Them waiting for Robin Hood to come save them. Not that its a bad thing.

I liked both the riddle and chapter ending. But yes, there is more to the riddle that hasn't been puzzled out yet.

A handmaiden to Lady Dacia? That doesn't sound good for her.

I'm guessing Jasperian has taken a liking to her because she reminds him of the princess? Red hair. Could go deeper than that though.

Hmm..Jasperian is a mystery to me. What his intentions are is still unclear. I guess I'll find out eventually.

And of course, it all seems fine to me. Usually there are some chapters that move a little slower and some that move a little faster. So no worries!

Don't pick me, Arnae thought, biting her lower lip. Please, don't pick me- -There's her mistake right there. I know from experience, when you don't want to be chosen, you will be.

So now we have met Jasperian. Seems like a nice enough fellow. But is there more? What is it about Arnae that made him step in? And does Kavour really have a thing for the princess? It is hard to see, but then again..love is said to be blind. And maybe the princess isn't a total brat when he is around? And their argument was nicely dramatic.

Hmm..personally I think Fayanne did it for some other reason. She hasn't seemed like the person to turn the other way with something like that, but a person can always surprise you.

The Slave Master? Uh oh!

heh, poor Lord Byrnes. He seems like quite a character.

"I did not mean to say that out loud." -oh yes you did naughty Kavour.

So now who wants to court the princess? I think I missed something there.

The princess seems like a peach...a rotting one that is.

Ah, so was Duncan the one who put himself up to court the princess? I had thought maybe, but since it didn't say...

As for your questions, I didn't think it was too long or confusing and I rather liked the different pov. It was interesting finally seeing what was going on with the princess, and what she was like.

I had a feeling it was a dream, but wow! That was good.

I like the conversation between Arnae and Nireem. Nireem seems to be talking so casually. Not accusing Arnae or anything, just telling her how it is. I especially liked this part: "Well," she said sharply. "Maybe this time will be different." "They all say that, too."

But the girl simply blinked a few times, buried her face into her pillow, and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "pink pantaloons." -haha

For all Arnae knew, he could be seeing a lover, and she had no intention of becoming a voyeur to a clandestine midnight tryst.

And he had seemed like the type... -:) This made me laugh.

I definitely wasn't expecting Nireem to go out to her.

"Or haven't you noticed that you're searching for a passage on the third floor? Pretty silly place to build a tunnel, don't you think?" -I was thinking the same thing.

If it matters, I liked it!

"Stop sniveling! You sound like a woman!" -I like this line.

Good chapter, with just the right amount of angst in my opinion :) And it moves at a nice speed as well. I liked Timar. I am usually a fan of sarcastic/wisecracking characters. Plus, they seem to play off each other well and Arnae seems to be able to hold her own for the most part. I do like the whole 'her hearing someone else in the room, but there isn't anyone else there'. Makes you question whether he is telling the truth (which I get the feeling he isn't) and then if he isn't, what is he hiding? And the end with him finding the knife was good and with the mention (or almost) of the outlaws, it seems like maybe he is helping them perhaps.

So she now has a weapon and is slowly working out a way to someday escape. And with the talk of the outlaws (and obviously the title), I'm guessing she's going to meet up with them at some point. All very interesting.

Hmm..who was that man? He did run away fast enough!

there were no vagrancies beside them. -did you mean "vacancies"?

Nireem! I knew the two of them would meet up. The thought of the officer is enough to make one shiver. It does seem like a scary situation to be in. Hope she doesn't get in trouble with those knives she's planning on procuring!

Aww, poor Nireem. The ending of the first scene, with the knife, is a nice touch.

Now that they had halted, some of the younger, ill-nourished slaves swayed with exhaustion, like cattails in a breeze. -I like this. You can really picture it.

"You newbies will have your first free day in a fortnight." -"newbies" kinda sounded out of place since I see it as a very modern term.

Another good chapter and a nice ending. It's still keeping my interest. :)

Hey there! Your story sounded interesting, so here I am! Just so you know, I usually review as I go. And I promise to try and give you as must honest truth as I can! So here it is!

When he ignored the jewels and gold because that's not what he was there for, it caught my attention. And the way you ended the first scene was fabulous. It's very intriguing. The first part was good, a little descriptive, but not too much so that it was a bother. For the most part, you weave it in well.

"His many jowls wobbled with rage as he fingered his whip and snarled" -haha! I loved this line.

Everything seemed to run together nice and smooth, like a well oiled machine! And you have very realistic dialogue with a variety of good tags to accompany them. It's all good to me! I'm just sorry that it's late and I can't read more at the moment. But you can bet I'll be back to sample some more as soon as I can. Good writing!

Hi there!

Big yay for another chapter. Why did Adrianne have to die though? Poor girl. And I really can't wait to find out what will Arnae and the other Outlaws do. And Lord Kavour aswell. Why do you have to leave us hanging! Anyway, wish you goodluck with your jobs and school, and I hope you'll find the time to keep updating.

Great chapter! Poor Kavour, though. It's been a long time since I went back to this story, and I'd forgotten how much I hated Jasperian. Well, this chapter reminded me. I hope we can see Arnae soon and that she can somehow help Kavour. And is Adrianne dead? I hope not. As bratty as she was, I kind of liked her...

Please update soon! I hope you find the time to continue writing!

i freaking love this story. i read crown duel recently and it's really nothing like your story but for some reason it really reminded me of it over and over... in your favor. instead of enjoying crown duel, i just kept thinking about how awesome YOUR story was. honestly this story is pretty much better than... just about everything else, haha.

i LOVED these past couple of chapters, although OMG the part where adrianne was murdered and then out man kavour was blamed just KILLS ME. i want so desperately for kavour to be okay, lol.

i really have to thank you for updating though because YAY KAVOUR IS ALIVE. rejoice rejoice.

okay, i have to sleep now but this was awesome. thank you so much for still updating and stuff, and hope we see another update ... relatively? soon :) take care.

Is "depends how you define 'dead'" the same as it depends on what the meaning of 'is' is?

I'm always very pleased when you update. I hope you do so again soon. ~jlr