I know I should probably keep reading, since I have a ton more chapters to go, but I can't help myself. There are several things that bug me.

First off, the hair. If I remember right, the princess has blond hair and Arnae has red. Wigs are not mentioned anywhere, but I'm going to assume that they are in place.

Secondly, Arnae's marks has a slave. By this I mean her brand and her scars. If the hand maidens didn't notice the scars, surely they would notice the brand when they dressed her? I understand that they wouldn't look at the princess directly, but they're have to be blind not to see that. (unless the mark is smaller than I think)

Thirdly, the dresses. Arnae gave her slave outfit to the princess. Then she absentmindedly wanders into an Outlaw meeting, still in her fancy princess dress. And no one notices.

Oh well. I guess I'm nitpicking too much. Don't take these criticisms too harshly. I love the story! Maybe some of these questions will be answered in the next chapter and I will feel like an idiot for writing this.

I love this story so far!

i love the story so far!

its soo addicting

cant wait for more ]

I have fallen in love with this story. Seriously, your characterization is clever and the plot is well executed so far. It's refreshing and unique. I actually found this story a while ago while browsing through this site. I'm glad I stumbled on it.

The pacing and flow was very good from what I've read and I thought your details were necessary. I wish I could say more, but I figured that your other reviewers have pointed out pretty much everything else. It's a well done story so far. Great job! :D

I really like this story because of the plot twists and the depth of the characters. Unlike some other stories which drag something on and on, I'm still waiting for more because of the suspense and the surprises along the way.

Yes I'm sticking with the story, but please hurry up with it! I want to know what really happened to Lord Kaver, and how the girls get out of the problems this time!

I really like this story, it is well written and the characters have some real depth, and all is not pink and beautiful for them, it changes from most stories. I'm actually quite proud of myself for having guessed that Jasperian was up to no good since Arnae was told she looked like Adrianne, and that his ring was shadowy.

But I feel some details have been overlooked, such as the fact that Arnae's marking should have made her very suspicious to the Princess' handmaidens, as they are bound to see her arms when they're helping getting her dressed. Or that Timar being able to get access to the Princess' apartments so easily should be impossible, as he is nothing but a slave after all, and one that has absolutely no ties with Adrianne as a blacksmith.

But then again, the rest is well done, so just keep on updating and making my eager little self happy.

O.O

Please, please, please, I beg you with all of my heart, soul, and liver, please update before Christmas! X.X I've been checking almost every day since August for updates and I die a little more each time I don't have more TSO to keep me happily obsessing for a few more weeks!

Your story is honestly one of the best I've ever read, and I'm so obsessed with it, I'm even *dreaming* about it. x.x I absolutely love how you write, and I adore the characters. I especially admire how you're not afraid to make the characters less than likeable; Arnae and Adrianne especially seem very stubborn and ruthless at times. Arnae's continual mistreatment of Kavour is, I have to admit, very refreshing. Even though it makes me cry and scream in frustration and if she were a real person, I'd smack her a couple of times with a frying pan (heavy duty), it makes them so much more real and captivating. I loved how you showed Adrianne growing up and maturing enough to take her place as a responsible Queen. Oh, and Dacia is a total witch with a capital B.

I'd have to say my absolute most favorite character is Timar, if not Kavour... they're both just so awesome and funny, although in varying forms. And Nireem is awesome as well. She reminds me a lot of Luna Lovegood in Harry Potter, but more mature.

Umm... as I was saying, PLEASE do not ever think that your story sucks in any form. Saying TSO sucks is like saying Bill Gates isn't rich: in other words, completely not true and there are billions of people who will tell you as such.

Absolutely fan-smackin'-tastic writing! I can't wait to read more! :D Good luck with college, too!

Well, hey there. Long time no see!

"'No,' Kavour agreed. 'But I can prove that you are keeping a slave captive against her will.'"

LOL. That kind of thing is an occupational hazard, methinks. Maybe specify that she's the Queen's slave, not Jasperian's? (Unless the joke was intentional.)

You really haven't convinced me on the Kavour-Is-Dead thing. There's no evidence of his death besides Jasperian's word (which we all know is utter crap), and, well, he's the ROMANTIC INTEREST! His actual death would rouse more speech than "Yeah I poisoned that jerk. Deal!" I'm just not freaking out the way I should be, you know? Make me believe it!

A friend of mine found it helpful in one story to actually write out the character's death (think of it as an alternate ending, I guess), and then slide everyone's reactions back into the actual story. If you decide to make any changes to the scene, it might be helpful.

Oh and by the way, $* #%&!*) $. The scene where Kavour is looking for Arnae is ridiculously frustrating. I felt like crying. (That is both a compliment and complaint. Take it whichever way you wish.) Until Arnae said something, though, I didn't realize there was magic containing the noise from her room. Maybe you could clarify that?

Jasperian's reaction to Kavour's accusation about Arnae and the ring seems kind of... wrong. He's supposed to be clever and devious, but he says WAY more than he should know. He might as well just come out and say "Finders keepers!" Is Jasperian just trying to taunt Kavour without incriminating himself? (As a side note, I totally loved his "Your mother?" comment.)

I bet you anything that Kavour isn't dead.

Oh no kavours dead:o That is not a good thing:S Hm but jaspour seems to cold to actually be there when he died and it was by poison so i still have hope:P Well the switch is done and beutifully dramatic and hard choicey. Yes that was horrible englis:S Well it leaves me wanting more!

ps by I'm not usually very impressed, I meant, BY KISSING SCENES, not anything else haha.

pps how are you pumping out chapters so quickly! you beast. college kicks my ass.

I was really impressed by these two chapters. at last we get some idea with where the jasperian storyline was going! and the kiss between arnae and kavour was seriously one of the best written kisses EVER. I'm usually not very impressed, but there was something enchanting about the way you wrote it.

I'm worried for arnae since things are looking hopeless, but I remain hopeful for her and also for kavour. please, I hope he is not dead!

No matter what you do to Jasperian, he'll always be first in my heart! I LOVE JASPERIANN! AND HIS SEXY EVILNESS!

Hello there, new reviewer. First off I want to give my congrads for a job well done on your story. In terms of writing, it has excellent flow for it transitions effortlessly.

Also your descriptions are well done for there not overtop but at the same time its not lacking.

Well done. Also the pacing of your writing is good for not once did it speed up or slow down. Also your dialogue is great and I liked how you used dialect for certain characters such as the guards.

The plot from my standpoint seems fairly interesting for there aren't many stories like this on this site.

Nevertheless, you've captured my attention and will be looking forward to read on.