|Reviews for The Tale of the Broken Umbrella|
| fam chapter 9 . 8/6/2008
Are you fishing for compliments or something? Or are you just being hard on yourself? This chapter was great(there were some mistake, though)...everything you write is great.
After reading the beginning of the chapter I felt kinda disappointed in Galen, I didn't think he was capable of being so mean.
*rolls eyes* Of course we still hate Knight! He's like the Voldemort of this story...you know, without all the killing, uglyness, psychopathic stuff...without him there wouldn't be a story but that doesn't stop him from being an asshole.
'We’re popping your stargazing cherry tonight then' When are they gonna pop his real cherry? Has it already been popped? Did he and Knight...OMG! He was probably Lukes first and then he just breaks his heart!
See, Knight IS an asshole!
Burn, Knight, BURN!
please update...either this or BUBBLES...which ever :)
| Esquirella chapter 9 . 8/6/2008
Yes, I still hate Knight. He was unnecessarily cruel, in my opinion.
Great update, but I do feel a bit sad for Galen's mom.
| Parchment Quill chapter 9 . 8/6/2008
Aw... I love you too. Thanks for the dedication. It cheered me up so much more than you can imagine. And, don't say the chapter was lousily written. Even if you believe that, your stories, this one and this chapter included, are the best things I have ever read. This chapter was so beautiful, so poetic. The scene at the beginning is like a look into the future for me. The mother-son relationship will be basically the same with me I assume, if I ever see her again after I leave the house, which is actually very unlikely. So, that does not lessen Galen in my mind, does not make him seem like a sadist or anything. And I am starting to warm up to the scenes with Knight as well. If I forget what it is I already know about him, they become poignant dialogues between two guys in love. I still like Galen more, however. His scenes are wonderful; the relationship between he and Luke is so mesmerizing. The way Galen can see right through Luke, and no matter how desperately Luke grasps at his isolated self, Galen is there to confuse and understand him. Anyways, great chapter. I am just drooling at the mouth for the next chapter of both this and Winter Storms. Lots of love to you and little Luke.
| Domini-kun chapter 9 . 8/6/2008
The Dark Knight has to be my most favourite movie ever. I cried a bit when they said Heath died. Becaus his act as the Joker was the best damn act I ever saw! Joker, yes, Joker is my favourite villain ever. Heath is an amazing kickass actor. Who's dead. ;_;
You are way too harsh on yourself. This is an amazing chapter, I love it. And I don't hate Galen. I just wonder why he does what he does. And why he hurt his mother. Because I know it indirectly hurt Luke because he's in a sort of similar situation. But Knight, I'm sorry to say, is going to get a beating. I am REALLY pissed at him for hurting Luke. But whatever, I don't think of him that much.
And I posted the prologue to a yaoi story I'm going to work on :D! I decided to get over myself, and just write what I thought 'felt right' for it to be considered yaoi. Hopefully it will be good. And hopefully I'll soon start posting up more stories.
P.S. YAY BUBBLES!
| Qui chapter 9 . 8/6/2008
Yeah? are you going to try and keep up with me now? or did you give up on that? If it makes you feel any better, I'll just about stop posting entirely sometime this month. (Life calls me away to no free time and debatable Internet access).
I didn't see anything wrong with this chapter, so I don't think you need to angst over it a whole lot. Chapters, in my experience, are always better than we think they are.
I do like the cuddly angst of this story, however, and the slow revelation of things past and the two-level character development. It's pretty neat.
| svvitch chapter 8 . 7/25/2008
I'm lulled into what may be a false sense of security about Galen. Something about him makes me think of L. It's either the laptop or the possibility of him being an erotic writer, since those are the only things they really have in common... Besides the hair and eye colors, but I think Galen looks much cleaner...
Speaking of Galen, I say Luke should FORGET KNIGHT. I'll send Luke to REHAB if I get the money. XD Galen totally has the hots for him! And Galen's way better than Knight! Serial killer or not! (I guess I think Knight's just too flirty and kind of annoying in some of the flashbacks. The poor boy's struggling with his sexuality; be a little less forward!)
And as for the "slaughterhouse" comment, I think that's another of Galen's failed attempts at a joke trying to mislead us. Or maybe he wants to take Luke to a farm. And kiss him in the hay. Ooh.
If you want songs to quote, there are, like, fifty billion songs that fit this! I'll drop some names, but I won't just give the lyrics, 'cause I think you might like them. Since you have good taste in music and all. "Broken Wings" by Tane Tomoko is THE theme song for this story. "The Arms of Sorrow" by Killswitch Engage, "I Don't Love You" by My Chemical Romance... Maybe "Forget It" by Breaking Benjamin and "Fine Again" by Seether...
Sidenote, in one of your Author's Notes, you mentioned that Americans have weird taste in movies. We REALLY do. You don't have to watch some of our TV, the stuff that isn't global and I pray never will be. -gags-
And to conclude this long review, I get more into this than the other story you started at the same time. I don't even remember the name. n.n; I hope you can update soon, though! XD All in all, so far I think this is one of your best. Except maybe that first one I read by you, with the awesome redhead Art and the adorable little Jared. That was awesome. And Winter Storms.
| Initially loaded chapter 8 . 7/19/2008
Does Knight ever remerge?
| RYTEREWQ chapter 8 . 7/18/2008
So, I've been planning to read your stuff for a while now, and I finally got around to it. I started with this one because...seriously, who doesn't love a broken umbrella?
ANYWAYS. I have decided that I have a bitter attitude towards Knight. He's so gonna make a huge mess when he comes back in...come on, we KNOW he's gonna come back in. I think?
I love you (yes, that didn't sound creepy at ALL.) -wanders off to read other stuff by you-
| Ambriel chapter 8 . 7/18/2008
Thank you, thank you! *blushes*
I like Fog's theory that he's all of them! Why did I not think of that? It all works together perfectly! If the police were to question him he could go on about his latest novel in X-rated details and have the police back away slowly and leave him alone! (-"What were you doing on the night of July 18th?" -"Writing porn."
| fam chapter 8 . 7/17/2008
You're back! Yay! Hope your siblings are feeling better!
I really liked Galen's conversation with his mom, it shows that they aren't very close and that maybe she doesn't like him being gay cause I could imagine her asking "Is he your boyfriend?" or something along those lines and then hanging up after Galen says "Not yet."
When is Luke going to get up the nerve and ask Galen what REALLY he does? I mean, the whole 'serial-killing assassin for the mafia who writes bad porn in his free time' is amusing but highly unprobable...
OMG! They're going on a date! Even if it is to the slaughterhouse!
I hope Knight dies...painfully
Please update :)
| Cattails chapter 8 . 7/17/2008
I have a feeling there was a bunch of hidden stuff in that conversation with his mum. But, if there was, I missed it... However, if we go with the serial killer theory, maybe his mum is in on it, and she was asking if he was going to kill Luke, and when he said "Not yet", she got mad and hung up. ...or, y'know, something completely different. It's fun filling in the blanks of phone conversations. Oh, Scrabble...the best version is dirty Scrabble. Of course, you eventually run out of smutty words and just have to put together random letters and make up dirty meanings. Still fun XD Uh, wow, Fog is extremely paranoid. Is she a conspiracy theorist, by any chance? Hm, but I'm suspicious of Galen wanting to know where Luke lives so badly... I bet he is gonna resort to stalking. Which would be kinda pointless, since Luke knows him...and spends a lot of time at his place...and I don't remember him having a phone, so could Galen even do the creepy phone calls? Hm... Uh...slaughterhouse? Uh, yeah, I'd be running, screaming in the oppostire direction. Although, I'm sure it's a club or restaurant or something. Because, really, slaughterhouses aren't very romantic. Unless you're insane. Or really like meat. Oh, flashback! Ugh, they were so cute together! WHAT HAPPENED? D: I can't wait to find out XD
| Esquirella chapter 8 . 7/17/2008
I like seeing the past and how Knight pursued Luke. It gives a lot of insight into why Luke is so apprehensive of Galen.
| Domini-kun chapter 8 . 7/17/2008
Zomg. Date. With Galen. I die of squees. And Knight... I'm sorry to say, when it comes to other peoples feelings, is a total sshole. I mean, he was playing around with Luke's feelings. Got him kicked out of his own home (I'm assuming that happened, here), and then tells him he doesn't love him no more, and probably never did. How f*cked up is that? F*ck, I'll kill him. But at least he has his good qualities. And at least Luke found Galen. I hope Knight regrets kicking Luke out of his life.
| Parchment Quill chapter 8 . 7/17/2008
Sorry about your camping trip, but it still sounds like you had bundles of fun. _ Hope your little bro and sis are feeling better. Now, about what Galen said... he was kidding, right? That whole bit about ""The slaughterhouse."" First I laughed, and then I thought: oh my God, he's not serious, is he? He does seem like he could definitely be a serial-killing assassin for the mafia who writes bad porn in his free time!" But he can't be. Because Luke is supposed to fall into wonderful boys' love. Sometimes Luke can be so weird, but in an adorable way; too much time around Fog, if you ask me. Fog at least added to his rampant weirdness. And, GRR! That stupid laptop is really starting to annoy me. What in the world is Galen doing with it? Is he really a struggling erotica writer? Are his stories about him ravishing Luke? Ooh, that would be fun. ;) I bet they are. Unless... he's actually working for the government or something and the laptop is merely a cover. So, Galen is there because people think Luke could be some sort of terrorist? But, seriously: what is he doing with that laptop? Ah, and what about the young, closet case Luke? What's the matter with him? Takes him a while to wake up to his own rampaging hormones that are just begging him to rape Knight. Or... well maybe his hormones aren't that evil, but I bet Knight wouldn't mind, am I right? Anyways, a great chapter. Update soon, please...? *puppy eyes*
| PencilSketchS chapter 8 . 7/17/2008
Yay for another chapter and welcome back from the camping trip.
I liked Galen's conversation with his mom, and I've got the feeling they don't get on spectacularly well. Like the fact that he doesn't tell her anything about his life. At the end of the conversation I can so hear he asking (or shouting, or hissing, or asking in some displeased way): "Are you sleeping with him?" and then Galen pauses before "Not yet."
Ah well, Fog is really on a role with her theories. Obsessive much? But it's better than thinking he writes up self help columns.
And Galen could SO be a stalker, though I don't think he has a malicious bone in his body. He'd probably be extremely good at stalking, but ridiculous at the same time, like being over obvious. I can imagine him ducking behind a pole. Ofcourse he'd only not be seen doing this if he was a good couple of blocks away from his target in a crowded place, but that's getting technical.
I feel so free not having to review off my cell.
Anyway, I don't see what's so special about Knight. Sorry Luke but you idolised and filled in you own random causes for worship. I agree he's interesting and eccentric, and atypical but that does not make him a god.
And I can so believe Galen knows exactly what rumours are floating around about him, he's psycic that way, hence the date. Of sorts. To the slaughter house. *cure mad laughter* Or not really, but I'm sure it's not as omnious as it sounds.
Looking forward to the next chapter, and so you plan on writting any more chapters for Loveheart?