|Reviews for If you knew me: The beauty and the beast story.|
| Foxglove Nightshade chapter 2 . 3/17/2006
very interesting...a bit choppy, but it's still very captivating.
| Kristina Suko chapter 2 . 2/13/2006
It was interesting, but still, your sentence lengths are pretty much the same in the last two paragraphs. Also, your transitions are rather choppy in the last two paragraphs. [I mean going from "Colin opened the door to his small house." to "He thought about his day." Add a little more to it, like "As he changed into cleaner clothing, he thought about his day." or you might even say "Colin opened the door to his small house, immediately assailed by the fragrance of forget me nots and daffodils, flowers which filled his house. He was tired; his shirt was dark with sweat, and..." I dunno. Combine the two paragraphs, somewhat like the previous sentence I just wrote from what you had. Well, I hope you write more, work on it a bit, and improve your storytelling skills.
| Kristina Suko chapter 1 . 2/13/2006
Wow, this hasn't been updated for a long time. Mill you continue it? Just in case, here's my reveiw. Cute beginning, but I have a bit of criticism for it. [Sorry if it offends,I'm only trying to help and the story can be made much better]It's very choppily written, you need to work on that. Instead of having two or three sentences saying "He walked to the fence. He jumped over it. He walked away." [an example] you should combine the sentences with commas and semicolons, such as "Walking to the fence, he jumped over it and strode away.". The sentence lengths should be different, not all the same, otherwise the story gets boring even if the plot line is good. When describing their actions, you don't have to start the sentence with "He" or "her". Example: instead of "He turned and boosted himself on to the wall. He swung his legs over, and before he decended the wall he blew the princess a kiss." you could do "Turning and boosting himself onto the wall, he blew the princess a kiss before descending to the other side." And avoid using one word for one thing too many times. Be creative. instead of using "the wall" every time, say "The stone barrier" or "the stone fence" or something like that. Well,continue your writing. Dont give up just because only a few people have reveiwed. Everything takes work and perseverance, and if you excell, you'll become more noticed.
| Sarcasm Sea chapter 2 . 4/3/2005
This was interesting. I have a feelingas to where you're going witht this,but you still may end up surprising I can say is that I think you shouldsomehow add more detail. You already putin an adequate amount of detail, but itseems forced. Just, try to make it flowand meld together. Otherwise, I see noproblem with it. You have good spelling,good grammer, and good up as soon as possible. I wantmore!Lotsa lucks and wishes,Eros-Muse
| FaerieBelle chapter 2 . 3/30/2002
Great story... I hope you upload some more soon.
| Jade50 chapter 2 . 9/1/2001
Oiy, write MORE pwease. Hehe
| No One chapter 2 . 7/26/2001
THis is very good, I look forward to reading the next part. Please relese it as soon as possible. I'll beg if you need me too. Pleeeeeese! I beg you! I think that the princess need to turn ino a troo or something.
| WOW-ed chapter 2 . 5/4/2001
it's good... write more!
| bad gurl rock star i wuz in denial chapter 2 . 4/14/2001
lookin for a good time, sailor? very kewl story :) and no, i iz not being sarcastic. i think mara should get hurt or something. that is my suggestion.
| Kathryn Angelle chapter 2 . 4/11/2001
hm, good, but punctuation could use more attention, and the dialogue feels...stilted (huh, look who's talking ;) Other than that, good so far, what happens next? Hm? Hurry up! ps there's now a Fairy Tales section in Books, if you wanted to move this there...
| Firedew chapter 1 . 4/8/2001
I'm interested, Please continue the story! :)