Reviews for Breaking Bailey
Jasmine Scarthing chapter 13 . 6/21/2014
Poor Bailey :(

I really loved this story, and yes, I read the whole thing! It was really believable and original, and I'm a lot like Bailey, so I can relate to her. Amazing job.
Bad Wolf's Sandshoes chapter 13 . 4/12/2013
This was heartbreaking. Even though it would have been cool to have a Bailey POV, the poem was a great touch. If you really wanted to, you could probably publish this. It's just THAT GOOD.
Encore19 chapter 13 . 12/28/2012
This is on my favourites list for sure. Well done.
Encore19 chapter 12 . 12/28/2012
I love this story. It's really good.
Encore19 chapter 6 . 12/28/2012
I just realised now that you've been changing perspectives on this story. How dumb am I?
Encore19 chapter 4 . 12/28/2012
I thought you would have mentioned when Keith dumped her. That's still fine though, focussing on the key aspects of your story and not getting side-tracked by unimportant details.
Encore19 chapter 3 . 12/28/2012
This is unlike anything else I've ever read.
Encore19 chapter 2 . 12/28/2012
This is actually very similar to something happening with two of my friends. I really do like this story.
Encore19 chapter 1 . 12/21/2012
Interesting I will be reading more.
pterodactylion chapter 13 . 7/21/2012
Fantastic
I felt like someone had gone to these people and asked for personal recounts on what happened, it was actually just so real.
I liked it.
Sloppy Joe 313 chapter 13 . 4/15/2012
It's so sad... But still really good. What happened to Bailey? Did she stay at Brown Mountain?
Redhead-Rosalie chapter 4 . 2/26/2012
This story is really good but I have a feeling it's going to be sad. Aw well a story this good needs to be read. Seriously I think this can be published.
Seles chapter 13 . 12/8/2011
Hi,

Something recently happened in the news that I wished to share. Here goes the story.

Her name was Marjorie Raymond. She was fifteen years old. She looked like a sweet, caring, beautiful girl. Then, on december first, she killed herself. She was being bullied since elementary school.

As I read your story, I could see clearly the parallel. The scary, scary pattern repeting itself. The authorities doing nothing, the indifference of everyone, the egoism. Everything. At the end, all I could see was Marjorie and her tragic ending. Even if you let the story open, all I could see for Bailey's future was suicide, as it was the case of Marjorie.

The story of Marjorie touched a lot of people here. We wanted to find someone to blame. But the fault lies on everyone's shoulders. Thank you, for having finished the story, even if you didn't get many reviews. An autor writes to please, but also because he wants to share a story that is precious to him, being real or not.

Your story is not perfect, as nothing is. But you did a wonderful job. Your message is getting across quite hard. For me, I saw the girl who did nothing to merit the way she has been treated. It got me to think if I once was also guilty of the same sin of everyone in Bailey's story. That I was so focused on myself that I didn't see someone who wanted help...

My advice to you would be to let it sleep a bit more. To someday read it again. And then, to try to work on it more. Maybe developing it to a novel lenght story. Or working on different version, but keeping the principe of the story. I don't know. With your concept, the possibilities ar infinite. But like other reviewers, I feel that it would be great to submit your story to the comments of an author or a professor. And for you to eventually publish it.

Personnaly, I would have liked to see the point of view of the authorities concerned, even if the view of Sarah Jean in chapter 12 replace it pretty well. I really like the fact that she is telling true facts, not rumors. I would have introduced her earlier, but she is (in my opinion) the best person to wrap the story before the last chapter. And the absence of Bailey during all the events of the story... was perfect. I wouldn't change it for the world. It is more intriguing to see why it happened to her, to discover the bigger picture chapter by chapter, in different point of view,but never knowing what is happening in Bailey's head.

If you want to pursue the subject(and it's fine if you don't). I would love to read another version, with less cliché and with more depth. Because, even if it serves your story well (and made it amazing), it simplify the issue at hand and the character are reduced to slut, anorexic, player, gothic, emo or whatever. It is too much of an american drama, like we see on television and in movies. It wouldn't feel real if we translated your story in another language.

But I disgress. Because your story was heartbreaking and awefully good. Even if I don't like the cliché much, it permit the reader to identify themselves to your character and to like them. (Julia was my favorite) So really, you did great job. Yes. A really fine job.

I will wait for other of your story.

Please keep on writing!

Seles
Pranali chapter 13 . 5/6/2011
Oh my god. This is amazing. You may not believe it, but I actually started bawling my eyes out when I was reading this. In fact I am still sniffling. This is such a good story.
Rhodd chapter 13 . 7/23/2010
A really sad but realistic story and at the same time, I am sorry say, a bit comedic too. Like a parody. I really liked the flow of this story, with short cut-to-the-chase chapters with different narrators and with an included psychological aspect too. Everything is not either white or black. I am also sorry to say that I did not like Bailey one bit, she was too weak (Yes, I know that is not reason to dislike someone, but sadly I can not understand people who can not stand up for them selves in a critical moment. I am no fighter but I do not let people step on me period.) and as much as it is easy to point fingers I think that she was at fault too. To treasure oneself goes beyond anything else.

The third chapter is a bit choppy in my opinion, Zoey's thoughts seemed far too jumbled and some sentences seemed even cut off. So yeah... But still an interesting and well written story.
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