|Reviews for Opening Winter's Box|
| A mysterious burnt prescence chapter 17 . 8/25/2008
Solemn, have I read this one before? I see that I didn't leave a review!
I like the idea of this one - comparing a fairy tale story to something not as neat, but equally precious.
"You leave him, your prince, standing there
lips puckered, eyes closed, wondering when to open them,
and you start walking."
| Pixiepie chapter 1 . 7/24/2008
The imagery in this wonderful piece of writing gave me a soft, sometimes sad, sometimes relaxing feeling. The range of emotions evoked was some ride.
| Burnt Bread chapter 6 . 5/21/2008
I don't know if you intended this one to flow from the last, but it does, and that's awesome.
the line: "Your immolation." is also awesome.
Starting from "I salute you", some of the lines sound a bit blunt, you lose that delicate way you normally craft your words.
| Burnt Bread chapter 5 . 5/21/2008
I wouldn't call this one a poem so much as it is a musing. the science-y feel of this piece is cute. You have such a broad range of topics. Just when I feel that I've grasped a pattern in these works, it shifts, and everything seems new. Very entertaining.
The ending - 'not a single unscientific dream to be found?' just summed up the contrast in the poem. you're taking about cells dreaming, but their dreams are science like. I sense truth, and also humour.
| Burnt Bread chapter 4 . 5/21/2008
At first there's a feeling of loneliness to this one, or at least I've always thought that snowflakes (even while moving) seem to exist in an isolated way. I like the change in the atmosphere - from cold to warm and from alone to complete.
| Burnt Bread chapter 3 . 5/20/2008
This is by far my favourite, no doubt you wrote it while in Japan? I love the comparison between people and crows. Then when you re-read it again, there's another layer of meaning - it's great.
| Burnt Bread chapter 2 . 5/20/2008
there are some great lines in this poem, but it was hard to grasp the overall theme. It didn't quite have the unity of the first poem. The loose rhyme and repetition of words at the end of lines sped the piece up in places and added pace to the reading. It sounds good read aloud.
| Burnt Bread chapter 1 . 5/20/2008
It's a very strong opening, the first line brings this lingering feeling to the visual sense, and 'it smolders still' cements it. I like how the descriptions move down body - from the years to the jaw, then into abstracts.
'It is not for me to fall in love with rain and mists.' - great line.
the poem is almost seemless in the way it flows from one topic to the other, the ending is tight. 'Possessions' - the title seems to magnify the feeling of need in the writing - the need to be close and to own/be own.
| Gathering Crows chapter 12 . 3/14/2008
Heh. I like this concept, of suddenly missing your "self" and trying out some new things while you're on vacation.
| Sword on Fire chapter 12 . 3/13/2008
I like the idea of this one. It seems almost comical to me that a personlity can be lost like so mcuh baggage, and that we think of our bodies, minds, brains, and selves as separate entities. Also, the last line is my favorite. _
| me. moi. ich chapter 1 . 3/13/2008
this is beautiful, i love it.
| Burnt Bread chapter 11 . 3/1/2008
A masterpiece, Solemn. When I can type properly, I'll give this the proper review it deserves.
| Gathering Crows chapter 11 . 2/25/2008
...this...is awesome. Just so you know. This is what all those silly ballads should really say. *hug*
| Gathering Crows chapter 9 . 2/25/2008
Again very strong. I like how you do this one. Not sure what else there is to say. Granted this is also me on five-ish (hopefully) hours of sleep...
| Gathering Crows chapter 8 . 2/25/2008
I like how you start with the traditional confession set-up, and then completely tear yourself free from it. Very strong :)